Oh I HATE these

I have a pop up blocker. But, some slip through.
Specifically these new talking pop ups. What is the deal with these? They are always behind whatever it is you opened, and all of a sudden you hear, 'congratulations, you've won' Then you have to figure out where in the world it is to shut it up!
I tell ya, they will try anything to drive a person up a wall!!

Becoming me

This has been a rough week. Sickness and just various other rough things this week. But alas, I think I'm finally able to write an intelligible entry!
~*~*~*~*~*~*
My mom has made the comment that I "seem so much better since having that IUD out" Meaning less depressed. I suddenly seem so..Happy. I'm not sure I agree, but whatever.
So I've been thinking about why I might seem that way, and what might really be different.
I've come up with a much different theory than the removal of the IUD.
I call it, becoming me.
You see, my entire life I've felt like I'm living in someone's shadow.
Growing up, I was either, Dr. B's daugher, or Aimee's little sister. When my mom got remarried, she married a school counselor. We moved and I immediately became, Mr. M's step daughter. I was thrilled when I switched school's my Junior year. FINALLY, I would just be Bekki. No one would know any of my family. Unfortunately, they all knew Matt, and I instantly became Matt's girlfriend.
On and on it has gone. It hasn't helped that I have basically followed my mom around the country. Every church we went to, mom and D were members already, and we became their kids. Coming here was ok, initially though, I was Lt. W's wife. But now...now I am Bekki. I am an adult. Something I haven't ever really felt like.
We are very involved in church and I am Bekki. No one knows any other members of our families and it has, in a lot of ways, been so much easier.
Have you ever been to a church potluck? Have you ever noticed the kitchen? Where all the women stand and do dishes and talk away. That was always my mom's place. But here, I am one of the women standing in the kitchen, getting to know everyone for myself, and not through my mom, or anyone else.
I am finally becoming me, and I think I like it. And I think it has lifted my mood.
Of course, I still have my bad days, but who doesn't. All in all, life is just getting good.
Really, really good.

An old smoking hag

That's what I am. Someone whose been smoking for years and years. OK, obviously, I'm kidding. But that's what I feel like. This cough, that is so deep, sounds like a long time smoker's cough. If you were to meet me on the street you would swear I'm a smoker. I sound hoarse and I'm constantly clearing my throat and hacking my lungs out.
Have I mentioned how much I love my wonderful hubby for sharing this with me??

I know I'm late

I know I promised I'd be back on Monday, but I lied. I do that alot lately, it seems.
I do have an entry that I want to write, floating around in my head, but that same head is all foggy right now. My darling husband was so kind and shared his head cold with me. I don't really think that was nice of him, but he did it anyway.
At any rate, I'll write a meaningful entry when I can think right.
I took the kids to a free movie this morning. Regal Cinemas offers free kid movies all summer on Tuesday and Wednesday morning. We saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, again. We've seen it now, about a million times. But it was nice to get out of the house.
Anyway, I need to go make dinner. But honestly, when I'm feeling better, I'll write a real entry.

Finally catching my breath

Good grief...life has been busy busy!
I last posted on Saturday.
Here's a recap of my week...

Sunday ~ spent almost the entire day out in the country at a church picnic. Good times had by all! It really was quite a nice day. Good to be surrounded by family.

Monday ~ spent the entire day at Sea World. We closed the place down. We didn't get home till midnight. But it was really fun. We spent the first part of the day at the water park, then around 5ish headed into the main park to catch all the nighttime shows. They were all really good. We also watched the fireworks. Then, after the fireworks, there was still an hour till closing. So Matt took the 3 younger ones on the log ride. It had a long line, so Matthew and I went on the Great White, which is a loopdy loop coaster, and the Steel Eel, which is a hypercoaster, it just goes really fast, up and down. We went on it 6 times in a row. My goodness. Matthew would have kept going, but my tummy was telling me otherwise! And I have a STRONG stomach. Good times!

Tuesday ~ Had a birthday party to attend. Ended up being there for hours. Took up our whole day, but the kids had a great time.

Wednesday~ another birthday party! The two kids actually shared the same birthday which was yesterday, thankfully they were celebrated on seperate days! Fun, but oh so hot out yesterday, and it has been MUGGY. Icky.

Thursday ~ That would be today. Collin and Dillon had well checks at the dr. Both did well. But all four of them were due for a hepatitis A shot, and then they told me that Collin was due for all his boosters. OK, I know this. I just didn't put together that he was turning FIVE and that's when they get them. It was so terrible. He had a total of 5 shots. He screamed so bad. And I had to hold him down. I was shaking and I almost threw up. It was terrible. The other two didn't react that way to their boosters. My poor baby. He recovered nicely though, and they all got blizzards from DQ. Then we came home and spent the rest of the day in the pool.

Tomorrow~ I get to stay home! HOORAY! I need to bake cookies, which is always fun in the heat. Blech. But we are having a Women's Luncheon at church on Sunday. I don't expect too many people there, but the leader is a friend of mine, and I told Matt I have to go, if for no other reason than to support her. Women's ministries is kind of floundering at our church. But hopefully she can get things going once again!

Saturday ~ church and pot luck.

Sunday ~ Luncheon

So you may see me around these parts on Monday!

Oh, in exciting news (well to me anyway) Zachy's therapist had her baby on Thursday. I saw her picture online and she is a cutie. I can't wait to go see her and hold the little bundle!

We are working hard trying to plan a birthday party for Matthew. Collin and Zachy too. But Matthew's is the big 1-0. And he has never had a big party. They have always been family parties, or shared with Dillon. So it's time he has his own big bash. Things are just so stinkin expensive!

And speaking of birthdays. Today is my brother in law, Tim's, birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMMAY!!! We love you!

Do you all like this new song? I do. It is appropriate for this time of year. So to all the troops...THANK YOU!!

De ja vue

Matt was supposed to report to Officer training school (COT) on July 5.
We went out and celebrated our anniversary last week. Went to dinner and the movies then wandered around downtown. I convinced Matt to take me to Ripley's Haunted Adventure, and when we got there, I promptly chickened out! So we wandered around the alamo for a bit. Watched some artists on the corner painting pictures with spray paint. It was amazing. He got me one that was special made for me! AWWWWW
Anyway, Yesterday, he got an email saying his orders for COT were cancelled, and he would be leaving August 15 for COT.
This is EXACTLY what happened last year!
Oh the joys of the military!

My life

Right now...all five of my boys are watching Superman 3.
I so need a girl. *sigh*

I'm old enough

Two of the girls at church were at camp the same week as Matthew and Dillon.
The older girl has a huge crush on Matthew. She has to sit next to him everyweek, and you cannot seperate them to save your life.
L's mom told me that as they were looking through camp pictures L got jealous and would say, "that girl right there, she liked Matthew" "that one was nice, but she liked Matthew" and "all the girls had a crush on Matthew"
Ok, as a parent this is kind of nice to hear. Hehe.
But I asked Matthew what he thought of L having such a crush on him. Did he like it? Or did she bug him? Or what?
He said he liked it, kind of.
I chuckled and he said, 'WHAT? I'm OLD enough!" I said,"FOR WHAT?" He answered, "for a crush" I said, "no way, not till you are 20"
To which he responded, 'I don't think so. You were MARRIED by 20"
Whoops, guess that logic won't work on our kids!

We're done and sad times

VBS was a huge success. The kids did their program at church and everyone said it was just great.
Other than the one incident of drama, we had a blast. We are actually looking forward to leading out next year!

Tomorrow is Zachy's last speech appointment. His therapist is having a baby soon. He will turn 3 in August and not be eligible for their program anymore. His therapist told me that he won't qualify anywhere because he now has normal 3 year old speech patterns! GO ZACHY!

He is doing great with the potty. Still no poopy in the potty, but it will come!

Totally unrelated to anything, Matt's grandpa passed away Saturday morning. It's a sad time for all of us. I'm sad that my little ones will never know him. But I am comforted by the knowledge that I'm sure he'll be making fish hands in heaven, and they'll get to know him there. Keep our family in your prayers though, it's a rough time for everyone.

71 Questions

VBS is over tonight. It's been a stressful, but fun week. Because I have no brain cells this morning, I thought I'd just swipe this questionaire from Gina and leave it at that. Maybe next week you'll get the pictures and full updates from VBS!

71 Things you most likely don't know about me

1. Do you snore? Yes,I can hear myself as I'm falling asleep.

2. Are you a lover or a fighter? I guess it depends on who with. I definitely like to keep the peace, but little things tend to irritate me a lot. Definitely a lover with Matt, we never fight, I guess that's all that really matters. :-)

3. What's your worst fear? My kids dying and snakes!

4. As a kid, were you a Lego maniac? Nope, I don't think we ever had a single one, which is making it hard for me now. I don't have the "know-how" to help my kids create stuff. I suppose it's ok now that they are getting older, because they are so creative, they can make anything.

5. Do you like to have your neck kissed? Yes

6. Do you chew on your straws? Sometimes

7. Were you a cute baby? In my opinion I was

8. What color is your mouse? black

9. What color is your keyboard? Black and silver

10. Do you sing in the shower? Yes, and anywhere else the general public can't hear me.

11. Have you ever bungee jumped? No I'd be so afraid of the cord breaking, I would like to sky dive though.

13. Ideal vacation spot? Duh...Disneyland

14. Do you think Jay Leno is funny? Yep, I much prefer him to Letterman..yuck

15. Can you swim? Yes

16. Have you seen Donnie Darko? I have no idea who that is..

17. Do you give a flip about the ozone? Not really, I think they don't know much about it, shouldn't it have been gone by now? I do recycle though!

18. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? no one will ever know!

19. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? No

20. Have you ever been on an airplane? Yes, but not since June/01

21. Are you an only child? No, but my sister likes to claim my parents found me under a rock...

22. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpener? Either or

23. What's your stand on hunting? I hate it. Part of me thinks it's ok if you actually eat the meat, but to do it for sport just sickens me.

24. Is marriage in your future? I hope so, I told Matt last night that he had better hurry up and marry me...you know..since we have all these kids and whatnot! ;-)

25. Do you like your handwriting? No, it's so terrible.

26. What are you allergic to? nothing that I know or

27. When was the last time you said, "I love you"? In an email to Matt, but to Zachy and Collin while they slept last night.

29. Do you cry at weddings? YES! I am such a sap.

30. How do you like your eggs? scrambled

31. Are blondes dumb? Not any more dumb than any other person.

32. Where does the other sock end up? Probably still at camp. Dillon came home with a total of 3 socks....none of them matched.

33. What time is it? 10:33 AM

34. Do you have a nickname? mommy, Bekki-boo, Bek, Beeker

35. Is McDonalds disgusting? sadly no

37. Do you prefer showers or baths? Depends on the reason, for cleanliness, shower, just to relax, bath.

38. Is Santa Claus real? Of course he is!!

40. Are you afraid of the dark? No, unless I'm like in a closet or some other area that could cause me claustrophobia.

41. What are you addicted to? internet

42. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter? either

43. Can you crack your neck? Yes

44. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? No, Thank goodness.

46. Is drug free the way to be? Oh yes

47. Are you a heavy sleeper? hmmmmm depends, the kids can wake me up easily, but I never hear Matt get up and get ready.

48. What color are your bed sheets? white

50. Do you like your life? Yes, of course

51. Is your name Alan? No

52. Are you psychic? No

53. Have you read "catcher in the rye"? Maybe in high school, I don't remember

54. Do you play any instruments? I used to play the trombone and piano, but haven't done either of those in years, so probably not.

55. Have you ever stolen money? No

56. Can you snowboard? No, I can snow SKI though

57. Do you like camping? If the weather is nice, and the kids aren't sick. Camping with a baby with pneumonia isn't any fun, and the trip to the ER the next day stinks, I don't recommend it.

58. Do you snort when you laugh? Yep

59. Do you believe in magic? Like wizard magic? no. But my kids can do good magic tricks!

60. Are dogs man's best friend? maybe to some, ours isn't

61. You believe in divorce? this is a sticky area, I don't really, unless there is some terrible reason, like someone might die. I think that if it is just because you've grown apart, you need to wait till the kids are grown.

62. Can you do the moonwalk? No

65. What was the last thing you ate? strawberries

66. Do you wear nail polish? only on my toes

67. Wish you could live somewhere else? yep, the Pacific Northwest somewhere

68. What's the most annoying TV commercial? with DVR we don't watch them too much, but there are billboards up now, they are all red and say, "look, I have a meat beard" or "I pooted" or "shiny shiny, pretty pretty" and they are driving me CRAZY because I don't know what they're for!

69. Would you ever die for your best friend(s)? That's a tough one! Probably. I'd die for my kids in a heartbeat, and for Matt, but beyond that, I'm not sure. Sorry Shell!!

70. Favorite band at the moment? Don't have one

71. If you could master any musical instrument, what would it be? I don't have a desire to master one...maybe the drums so that I could have some rhythm.

Wanna come to VBS??

Dillon is trying so hard to figure out who he can bring to VBS. The only people here are mormon, and they won't come.
So he just told me he wants to go around our whole neighborhood, and ask the kids their names, and ask if they want to come to VBS. Silly goose.

More sing song from Collin

Yesterday while at Target, Collin got an echo mic. So on the way home he was singing at the top of his lungs.
Normally it's ,"Jesus loves me, this-hi know" But not yesterday.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is his song.
I am biiiiiiig
but not big enouuuuuugghhh
I want to be biggggeeeerrrrr
But I don't know hooooowwwww
He'll make me a KITTYYYYYYYY
I don't want to be a KITTYYYYYYYYY
but I'm gonna be a KITTYYYYYY
Meow
but I don't know what a kittyyy saaaaayyyyyyy
(this next part was to Zachy, with the mic in his face)
what does a kitty saaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy
BOY!! Tell me what a kitty SAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY
BOY!! Tell me what a kitty SAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY

It was hilarious.
In other hilarity, the other day we were talking to Collin and he said something with an "s" sound that he still uses an "h" sound for.
I said, "you need to use your silly snake sound"
So we were discussing silly snake sounds, and I said, "you need to do your "FFFFFFFFF"..you know, your "fish" sound"
He looked at me and said, "blub"
We all died...guess that's what a fish says!!

Drama Drama

OK, so on the outside VBS is going great.
On the inside though...ugh.
Things happened last night. Not pretty things. It ended up with my family at the pastor's famiy's house till almost 11.
My problem is I can't please everyone, and I want to. And apparently I let people walk all over me.
This has been a rough learning experience, and I can only pray for peace tonight, although I'm not so sure that will happen. It all depends on whose feelings got hurt.
What a royal pain.
And then to top it off another man, totally unrelated to VBS came and started ranting and raving about things somewhat related to VBS, and yet not.
It was a MESS. *sigh* I have to say leadership is HARD, and I am glad I'm not the pastor! Good grief.

This should be interesting

First of all, let me say that VBS is going great. Last night we had 22 kids. I have workers that have done amazing things, and I'd like to get them all something as a token of appreciation, but I can't think of what. If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them!

Now on to the interesting part. Which has nothing to do with VBS. It has to do with our house.
I'm not sure if I've ever explained this here before, but I'll do it again, just in case.
We live in Base housing, but we're not on base. We live in housing that used to belong to another base that is now closed. There used to be more of it, but only part is sectioned off as base housing now. The rest is low income appartments now.
The city has bought our housing area and has plans to make it into low income housing like the rest. About 6 months ago, all the enlisted people got a letter on their door saying they had two years to move out of here and find other housing. But nothing was ever said to the officers.
People have been moving out of here daily, and it is become a ghost town. Really, it's amazing to see a moving van in here almost daily. There are whole rows of houses that are completely empty.
Here in the officer section, there are only 6 families left. The rest all moved to different bases. And like I said, we've never been notified that we need to leave.
Well, this morning Sadie was going crazy barking. When I looked out the window there were 6 people out there. I'm guessing developers or something, because they all had papers, and blueprints, and they were looking at each house and writing tons down. They weren't military, I'm sure they were city people.
So it should be interesting to see when we get the notice that we have to move. And I almost wonder if it will be less than 2 years, just because of how fast the enlisted people have been getting out. I don't expect there to be anyone here for 2 years.

CONGRATS

A friend of mine Gina just had a baby boy! He is SO cute. Go over and say congrats! I was in desperate need of good baby news, and I got it. YAY. Course I keep wanting to call him Griffin, but his name Garrett! Congrats Gina!

First night down

VBS went well last night. The workers will be getting their credit! YAY. There were 15 kids, tonight there should be at least 16, we'll see. Which isn't much, but enough. I'm sure the lady who has been on my case is having a hay day knowing I didn't advertise enough. Oh well. It's our first year, next year we'll do better.

VBS Starts tonight

OK...tonight starts my first week of VBS. The first year I'm director. YIKES.
It's a bad spot to be in...if things go off without a hitch, all my leaders will get the credit (which they TOTALLY deserve!) but if things are a flop (like some of my leaders are predicting!) it will be my fault!
Let's pray it goes off without a hitch!
Wish me luck!
This entry is just full of exclamation points!!! Can you tell I'm nervous?

Picture overload

OK, these aren't the pictures I promised you, I'll take those later today. But last night, the kids wanted to go swimming, except the pool was closed due to lightening. We didn't see any lightening, but whatever! Anyway, we took the kids to this mexican restaurant Maria told me about. With a big ole play place. The kids had a blast.
The pictures were all going to be in one entry and in order, but that didn't work out. So here they are!

This one was not taken at the restaurant! In case you couldn't tell. It was taken several days ago, Zachy zonked out on the landing of the stairs.



Matthew posed for this picture for like a minute. What a wierdo! LOL



Fun times!



WAHOO!!!



The first time I went around to watch them come down these slides, Zachy actually caught air on that bump, so after that we went down very slowly!

Continued

Zachy going up the slide...instead of down!



Trying to get some speed going.



Zachy enjoying some food.



Folks, this was our half order of nachos. HALF ORDER!! We didn't even make a dent in it!



Running down instead of sliding!



Zachy in the airplane!



Yes, my kids pose when they eat. They're grandma has taught them well.



Isn't he cute?



Collin in the plane.



Dillon stopping to pose!



Doesn't Collin look grown up here. He is getting so big!

One in one hundred...strikes again

One in one hundred. That is how many tiny babies are affected by congenital heart defects (CHD). It is the number one killer of children. And yet, there is so little knowledge of them.
I'd like to take this time to remind you that I will be walking in the heart walk this year, and if you would like to donate to this cause, please click on that logo up there and do so.
We got news on Tuesday that some very old family friends had lost their baby to CHD. Baby was due in August, but passed away on Sunday, and was delivered Monday. His poor little heart was just too defective to sustain life. He had a condition that was so rare it doesn't have a name, and the drs only knew of one other case, in Boston.
My heart is absolutely breaking for them. We've known the daddy forever. Since he was just a boy. I have silly pictures of him from when we used to live next door, and he was just a kid. To think that now he is going through the most horrific thing ever, it just kills me.
I spoke with baby's grandma today, and I just wish I were there to wrap my arms around them and let them cry and cry. It's terrible.
Then later on Tuesday, Zachy's speech therapist came to see Zach, and she was distraught, because her best friend just found out that her baby only has a 3 chamber heart. *sigh* It never ends.
Am I just more aware of these things now? I don't know. I have to say, I wish the world of CHD was not mine, but it is, and always will be. I praise the good Lord that he decided to allow Zachy to be with us, I can't imagine the pain of not having him here. We are so completely blessed.
So again, if you feel the desire to help raise money for the American Heart Association, just click that logo up there, it really is very simple to donate. And while you're at it, please say a prayer for these two families, that they will get through all of this the best way they know how.

Hoity Toity

When we moved here, Matthew was in the middle of orthodontic treatment. It just so happened, that our ortho. in Idaho had once been military and was stationed here. So he knew an ortho for us to go to. It's been nice because they have talked on the phone several times to discuss the best course of action.
The thing is..it is in a really nice part of town. One of the most nice around, actually. And everytime I go there, I feel quite frumpy. I leave the house feeling like I look nice, and then I walk into this very nice office, and feel so..frumpy. I don't feel too bad usually, because Z's speech therapist lives in that part of town. They are loaded, and she always wears jeans and a t-shirt (totally off topic, she is due to have a baby in about a week, and the boys and I get to go see her when she goes home! I can't wait...I could so use some good baby news, I feel like I've been bombarded lately with bad baby news), so she makes me feel a bit better.
The ortho. is moving offices and today they were in a temporary facility. Which is an already established dentist office.
We walked in and holy cow...this place was like the Plaza of dentist offices. It was so nice. There were pillars and chandeliers and nice tiled floor, it was amazing. And here I come trotting in with 4 young boys. Dillon in a light green shirt and navy blue shorts that don't match, but he insists on wearing all the time. Collin in a blue shirt with a bleach mark on the shoulder that is almost 2 years old, but it has a picture of Goofy on it, so he must wear it all the time. Zachy in nice looking shorts and shirt...with big rainboots on! And Matthew looked ok, he was wearing a sleeveless shirt and shorts, no biggie.
There was a different receptionist from the other office who nearly looked like she was going to faint when we walked in.
Of course, usually his appointments take like 5 minutes, but today we were in there about 45 minutes. And of course my little ones got antsy. They really were doing well, but the receptionist just kept giving me dirty looks.
And then...Zachy spotted two fake trees. He walked over, and immediately started licking one (please..don't ask me why he does this. I have no idea, but it happens often!) and he realized it was fake. He then looked up and started grabbing the leaves off the tree!! Thankfully, the leaves snap right back on, but as I was putting it all back together I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my back.
I was never happier to leave the orthodontist.
Honestly, I was thinking while I was there, that had I known what a hoity toity neighborhood I was going to, I would have chosen a different ortho, just for fear of not fitting in, but the fact is..we pay just as much for Matthew's care as the hoity toity people there. So why should I feel bad?

Sing. Sing a song...

Sing out loud...
Sing out STRONG!

OK, that song just popped into my head. Sorry, sometimes you just have to break into song to liven the day.

Anywho..Collin often talk-sings. He carries on conversations...singing.
Today, as I was making oatmeal, he was standing beside me talk-singing....
oitey-meal...oitey-meal...I want hum oitey-meal!!!!!
*hiccup*
I hab the hip-ups...I hab the hip-ups
whose oitey-meal is that? is it mine?

All in a sing song voice. I wish you could hear it, because it is so cute.

~*~*~**~
I haven't taken pictures yet, because my husband is home and he has a bad habit of taking the camera to work with him. Grrrrrrrr. When he gets home there is just too much going on for me to get pics taken. I will though..I promise!
~*~*~*~*

Tonight I'm going to my first girl's night out. I'm super excited and hoping I might make some local friends. Wouldn't that be nice? Yes, Maria, you are my friend..I just hope to expand a bit! LOL And it's possible that the only friend I come out with is Maria, and that's ok too. We are going to dinner and a movie, and it should be FUN.

~*~*~*~*~*

VBS starts next week, and honestly, we still have a lot to do. UGH. It's starting to get scary. But, in a little over a week, it will be over, and it will have been a flop, or great, or maybe somewhere in between. Any which way, we'll survive.

~*~*~*~*~*

Guess who's been going peepee in the potty? Me? Well, yeah...but ZACHY!!! Last week he was naked(or nakey as he says) and started to pee on the floor. I said, "no no, not on the floor, let's go to the potty" and he said, "ok" and went! Yesterday, he was in underwear and kept peeing in them, so I stripped him naked and he kept running to the potty and went peepee every time, no messes. He did poop on the floor, but that will come in time! I washed diapers yesterday, and am secretly hoping it's the last time I'll wash them. It would be great if we could just go for underwear from now on! Imagine..no kids in diapers! That is totally foreign to me. There hasn't been a time in almost 10 years that no one has been in diapers. Can you imagine?

~*~*~*~*

OK, I'm rambling, and I have to get ready to take Matthew to the orthodontist...so I'm off. Have a great day!

Oh! I forgot to mention!

The difference in my boys's suitcases was amazing. I unpacked Dillon's first, if I would have openend them both at the same time, I would have taken a picture.
The most obvious thing was that Dillon must have brought half the beach home in his suitcase. There was sand everywhere. And his watershoes were laying in the middle of all his clothes, completely covered in sand. Also, their toiletries went there in a ziploc baggie to prevent leakage. Upon opening the case, no baggie, just toiletries...everywhere. Everything was smashed in the suitcase, in an effort to just get it closed.
I opened Matthew's and was amazed. First, his watershoes were slightly damp, so he had them wrapped in a garbage bag. No sand though, not sure how he left the beach where it was...Dill must have taken it already. His toiletries were in a baggie, in the zippered pouch on the top of the suitcase. His towels and clothes were folded as neatly as I would expect a 9 year old to fold.
The difference two years makes! Who knew??

Nameless Valley Ranch

My eldest kids will forever remember that name, and the fantastic week they spent there.
Their first year of camp.
The conference bought new land, so next year, it will be at a different location. But NVR will always be their first camp memory.
They are home now, and had an absolute blast. This just makes me so happy, I can't even tell you. To allow them this experience is something I will never ever regret, and I plan on them going to camp throughout their childhoods.
We watched a video of the week in review and I was nearly in tears. To see how much joy was on all those kids faces...it was awesome.
When I picked them up, they had loads of stories to tell me. And Matthew claims he has the best counselors EVER. I'm pretty sure he was their favorite too.
When I went to his cabin, his counselors were outside and they said, "we're just wondering how you do it" I was thinking, "oh, they're going to ask me how I manage with 4 boys" That is the usual question. But I said, "do what?" They said, "raise such an awesome kid, he was the best kid in our cabin. We asked him one time to do something and he did it, he was really great" I said, "well thanks" but was thinking, "they have to say these things, and probably tell every parent this" But one of the counselors walked with me out to the van to put luggage in and said, "I'm serious...he really was one of the best campers we have ever had"
Makes a mama proud!!!
Dillon was the youngest in his cabin, and next year all the other boys will be in camp the week after him. He is a bit bummed out about it, but I told him that by the time he is at the top of this age division, he will have been there 3 years, and the staff stays the same, pretty much. There is something to be said for being the oldest and knowing the ropes!
Dillon does look like he has aged a bunch this week. But I think it is because he got dark, and his hair got light. Matthew is pretty dark too.
Dill's counselor told me he had that one lonely day, but that was it, from that time on he was just great. He said he really didn't miss me that bad. Phooey on him!Hee!
Anyway, soon, Matt will be home too, and we will be together again..as a family..as it should be! HOORAY!

What I've done this week

Well, it has been a pretty lonely week for me. So I've thrown myself into some projects.
You'll recall, Matthew's bed broke awhile back. So while they have been gone I have transformed the rooms. What once was the playroom, is now Zachy and Collin's room. And Dilly and Matthew have their own room. I've had great fun organizing all the toys, and feel so good about it. Of course I'm sure things won't stay so organized. But I downsized alot. And everything has a place where it belongs now. It just feels good in their rooms. I hope Matthew and Dillon like theirs as much as Zach and Collin like theirs. I have a few finishing touches on Collin and Zach's room, but then I'll take pictures and show you all their new and improved rooms. I promise the pictures are coming..along with the outside pictures.
I also deep cleaned my whole house. Which took me all week long.
But on Friday I had a date.
I met my new friend, Maria, and her two sons at McDs so that the kids could play and we could talk. Her darling son, Matthew, has the same heart defect as Zachy, which is totally amazing because TAPVR is SO rare. So, we shared stories. And hers is a much tougher story. I could easily have spent the entire time in tears, but I fought them back. There is just something about hearing other people's ordeals. They were told, after the son had been on the bypass machine for 5 days, that they had to take him off and he would pass away sometime during that day. I would have been a wreck. And yet, they held it together, they had a birthday party for him, and talked to him the entire time, while waiting for him to pass. There were no tears shed in his room, Maria didn't want sadness around him. These are some of the strongest people I know, I'll tell you that much.
The rest of the story goes, that we went to his second birthday party in May. The child defied all odds. So many times, he defied them.
We are so incredible fortunate. The only time we were told Zachy could pass was in the context of...if he doesn't have this surgery..he WILL die, there is no way around it. But after surgery, he did great, and it wasn't a concern.
Anyway, Maria, I so enjoyed our time, and I so enjoyed getting to know your family better, and hearing your story. I'm sorry I'm such a sap!
The important thing here is that children DO pass away from TAPVR, and both our kiddies are here with us. PRAISE GOD! And they are both such a joy to everyone around them, I think they know, somewhere deep inside, how lucky they are to be here.
Today was church, and Collin and Zach did so well. I was so proud of them sitting so quietly through the whole service. Of course, we sat behind a couple with a little girl who is just over a year. They played with her over the pew and Collin leaned over and told me we needed a baby. A boy after my own heart! Hehe!
Tomorrow, I leave at 7:30 to pick up my boys! And then...the nice clean house...will be destroyed with luggage and laundry. I can't wait!

The thing about time...

it just keeps going. Always forward, never back.
I have a picture of Matthew and Dillon on my entertainment center. It was taken by my sister-in-law at a corn maze, shortly after Zachy was born. Do you remember the picture Gina? It has been sitting there, all this time, and of course I look at it and think, 'they are so darn cute' but I've never really looked hard at it.
I was cleaning Thursday, and I took it down and just stared at it. Dillon had just turned 5, Matthew was 7. In two months, Collin will be the one who is 5, Matthew will be 10, and Dillon is on his way to 8.
And I almost started crying. Because I can never ever have that moment back. Dillon will never be 5 again. Matthew will never be 7 again. And next to that photo is one of a day old Zachy's foot, and a first year birthday cake picture of Collin. They will never again be that tiny. They just keep marching forward.
I'm not so sure I like this thing called time, but I suppose there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to cherish all of these moments, so that hopefully, I can relive them someday in my mind.

Somebody please tell me!

I've been having troubles with my blog. Mainly, with what I write here.
Matt has told me that I say too much. But I really don't think I do. Things are funny to me, but apparently not everyone. I do, however, print out my blog, and this is my only form of journaling. Some of this stuff, I just don't want to forget!
Then my mom said to me the other day, 'I read your entries and think,'where is her head?'
So what do I do? I tried to convince Matt that surely if all I ever did was update on the kids, and put pics of them up...you all would get bored silly. I mean, really, how many cute kid stories does he think I have tucked up my sleeve? Oh yes, I do have plenty.
At any rate...someone please tell me...what should I write? Whatever my heart desires, or just kids stuff? Cause you know, this may be shocking, but I DO have readers who aren't my family, and who do care about what is going on with ME. Some of my readers I have known online for YEARS. And perhaps we don't email like we used to, so really...would they have liked to be left in the dark about my hormonal problems? Your lives wouldn't feel complete if y'all hadn't seen pics of my colon..right? Please tell me I'm right. Cause I really don't want to stop journaling my life. And things I find important!

But if I must just do kid entries...let me say...in less than 48 hours my boys will be home! YAY!! I feel like a giddy little school girl. I can't wait to hear about their week. I've missed them so much. And yet I am so glad they get this experience. My sister told me tonight that she isn't sure she could send her kids to camp. I just know how much I loved it, and wouldn't want them to miss out on it.
Which isn't to say that I haven't missed them like crazy. Especially at night, which has produced insomnia! I just can't wait.

I want to take some pictures for you, but I just haven't. Right outside our back door practically, is the pool. Yesterday, we were there from 3:30 till 7. We had such a blast. And when the temperature is over 100 degrees, it feels so good to be able to cool off! I'm loving it. Anyway, I want to take pictures of the pool, and also of my yard so you can see the nice haven we've made. I am liking my home more and more. And after a week of deep cleaning..it's heavenly! Just gotta get the rest of the family here too!

It's been nice

Maria asked me where the kids were.
They are at a Seventh Day Adventist camp, just west of Austin.
And I have to say, it's been nice. There is an amount of comfort that comes with knowing your kids aren't having sausage for breakfast. And knowing that come sabbath, the entire camp will be having church. Nice indeed.
It is also good to know that Adventists camps are good camps. What I mean is this. When Dillon called, someone from his cabin was getting stitches. Matt said, "right there??" I said, "yeah, why not? they have an RN and a fully stocked first aid building" He said that when he was at camp, a friend of his had a seizure, and he, being 15 or 16 was the only one in the camp who was trained in cpr, and he had to give her mouth to mouth! How scary is that? It makes me feel good to know that they can handle these types of emergencies there. Phew.
I do miss them terribly though. I can't wait to see them Sunday and hear all about their week!

Funny kid

Yesterday, I was being ultra nice, and I ordered the boys happy meals. They are giving out miniature build a bear animals right now. There are ones for girls and boys. In the picture, the girl one was a bunny. Well, Collin wanted that bunny. So when the girl asked if I wanted girls or boys, I said girls. Well, Zachy got a frog and he got a bear, with a pink dress.
Fast forward to today.
We were out and about and they were playing with the animals. When we got to the store they asked me to put the clothes on them. So I was dressing Collin's bear thinking, "kids are so great, they have no clue that it probably isn't socially acceptable these days for Collin to be walking around with a bear in a dress". Right as I was thinking that, Collin says, 'I hope nobody laughs at me' I said, 'for what?' 'For having a bear...in a DRESS'
What a hoot. How did he know what I was thinking?

Let's try this again....

I tried to do more pictures last night...but it wasn't happening.
So here are just some random pics I've been meaning to post.

Here are the kiddies on a ride at Sea World.



Matthew was on a big scary ride, and Dillon wanted me to take his picture so bad. I love this picture and wish Matthew were in it.



Matthew feeding the lorikeets.



After we took the big kids to camp, we stopped at Cracker Barrel with the little ones. This is after dinner, relaxin outside. For some reason Collin was on a bench, the rest of us were on rocking chairs.



Zachy eatin his scooby snacks in his rocking chair at the cracker barrel.




Just a silly pic of Collin




In less than a month, I will have been married to him for 12 years. :-)

How Frustrating

OK, I was going to post lots of pictures. You see, my grandma now has DSL so I'm no longer concerned about load time. So, I was gonna let you have it.
But Blogger is being dumb. The following are the only ones I was able to get on here. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

In other frustrating news...the dumb ants came back as soon as the coffee grounds dried. So you know what I did? I pulled out the big guns. That's right..I got the roach killer out. I sprayed it in that hole like nobodies business. Folks, I have no idea if roach killer will kill the ants, but it's worth a shot. Originally, I thought, 'well at least it will kill the roaches' but do you all remember when they had eaten the tail end out of the beetle? I'm sure there are no roaches alive in a fireant hole. I'll keep you posted on the ongoing saga!

More pictures

Here is our moth. He is a sphynx moth. And is now in the wild.



My baby with his holter monitor on. By this time he was used to it.




The result of having the monitor on for 24 hours. He was much more red than the picture shows. Poor thing.





Dillon getting set up at camp. They had their suitcases on their beds to begin with, I'm sure they are on the ground by now.






Matthew on his bunk!

Charge on boys

This morning, Matt left for Florida...early.
So I got up around 8ish to let Sadie go out. She was sitting at the window whining, so I figured I'd better let her do her business. However, we have no fences around here, so she has to be tied up. Which means, that once she is done doing her business, she barks to come in.
Since I was already up, I decided to stay out with her and enjoy the sounds of my windchimes and the birdies. It's great fun to go out and listen to the birds. Who cares if they are scolding you to go away so they can eat more the delicious bird food we put out for them!
Anyway, I sat down on my front steps. On either side of the steps are two big concrete pillars. I had seen fireants on one side before, marching in a line, into cracks of my house! I had dumped Amdro in the cracks to get rid of them. But while I was sitting there, I saw a line of them, marching into a teeny tiny hole. The last time I was at the store, I had asked about Amdro, but they were out. But the man told me that coffee grounds work. So, I thought, what the heck. I've got coffee grounds, might as well try. I dumped some into a bowl and moistened them to help them stick. I really have no idea if they are effective dry, I guess we will see. With a toothpick, I jabbed the grounds into this tiny hole. Of course, it was tiny so I couldn't get them in very well. BUT...the ants wouldn't get near it. So I smeared some around the hole. And also on the big crack I had seen them at before.
They are determined little buggers. They would march around the corner, get near the grounds and turn around. Before long they'd be back.
I could just hear them.
"c'mon boys...we're under attack!!"
They'd come in droves. With their stinger butts straight up in the air. Oh yes, they were going to get these grounds!
"RETREAT RETREAT!! IT'S WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!!"
"ok, we must regroup....maybe if more of us get together we can take this thing"
Now mind you, I also had a lighter in my pocket from the night before (lighting citronella candles in case you were wondering), and I decided to send them a warning! HA! So, when they would come around and get too close, I'd burn em!
And still, they came!
"CHARGE ON BOYS! WE HAVE TO SAVE OUR QUEEN!"
Pretty soon, the numbers got fewer and fewer. I don't know if this has to do with cowardness, or just the fact that I kept killing them!
By the time I went in, it had been several minutes and there were still a few lonely stragglers, trying to figure away around the deadly grounds.
I'll check on it later today and see how it is going once the grounds dry. I am determined to keep these things away. I wonder how long it will take the queen to die of starvation. I'm sure there is plenty of food to sustain them in there for awhile, but I blocked their entry, so no one is going in or out. I'm assuming that is the only entry because of how determined they were to get in it. And it is concrete, they can't go build a new hole!
I'm thinking of sprinkling grounds all over my yard. I wonder what that would do to my vegetation.
If you recall, (And I was going to link to the entry...but I really must stop naming them ridiculous things, it makes it impossible to find specific entries!) Zachy is very allergic to these things...and I will charge on to protect my baby. HA...maybe the ants need to think about that. They need a mommy willing to protect them, instead of her sitting on her rump making them do the dirty work!

No thank you

Zachy says 'no thank you' all the time. Collin is currently in the bathroom, and Z was knocking on the door. I said, 'do you need to go potty too?' and he nodded yes. Collin said, 'do you need to go poop like me?' Zachy said, 'no thank you Collin' WHAT A HOOT!!
Just to let you know, he didn't want to use the potty, he is so far from being potty trained it isn't even funny.

Could they be any cuter than this??

~*~*~*Hermie is a series of christian videos and books about a caterpillar~*~*~*~*

My kids found a caterpillar awhile ago. It was the biggest caterpillar I'd ever seen, and it was a brilliant green with blue stripes. We caught it and put in in our butterfly container. Thank goodness for the internet because I found out what type it was and learned that they needed dirt to dig down in and make their cocoon. So, we put dirt in and he dug down in there. We thought for sure he had died. But when I went to dump out the dirt I saw his cocoon.

I was just in the kitchen and glanced over at the butterfly container and saw a moth! And ugly brown moth, at that.

Collin was THRILLED and said, 'Zachy...look...our hermie is a butterfly!!'
It was so cute!
I'm bummed that the older boys missed it, cause we will have to let it go before they get home. Oh well...maybe another time!

BOOHOO

I just got a phone call. It was Dillon. Poor thing said he just called cause he really misses me. :-( He said he is having fun, but that he has tried to talk to Matthew and Matthew refuses to talk to him. Matthew will be getting a talking too. GRRRRRRRR
Poor thing, he sounded so sad.
He was pretty excited that he got to go water skiing, and he said he actually got UP!! WOOHOO Dillon!!
He also asked if I would send him mail. I told him I had, and that maybe he'd get it today or tomorrow. It isn't far away, so it is possible to get it today, even though I mailed it yesterday. I hope so. He needs a spirit lifter upper.
Anyway, I'm sure he'll adjust and have more fun. He said he is getting really tired though walking up all the stairs. He has been taking his allergy meds and his inhaler twice a day. I just hope this doesn't send him into an attack. I can always tell when he needs his inhaler, and that is when he is getting tired walking up the stairs. This must be killing him. :-(
Gosh, when I was at camp they didn't ever let you call home, I'm not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing to be able to call home. We'll see.
And to think...this is the kid that said, 'this is my stop...I'll see ya later' LOL Goofball!

We survived and now they're gone

Well, we survived the 24 hour monitor. It was tough. But once it was time to take it off, he flipped. The tape hurt coming off, poor thing.
But alls well that ends well, I suppose! I hope we don't have to mess with that again for a long while!
Today, we took the eldest 2 boys to camp. This is their first year, and they have been looking forward to it so much. We checked them all in and got their cabin assignments, then took them to their cabins.
Dillon is in cabin 2, and Matthew is in 4. They are right next to each other, with cabin 3 being set back further. So we pull into the grass to park and unload them, and Dillon sees the number 2. We stop and he says, "well, this is my stop, see you in a week, bye" I about died. I told him he didn't get off that easily, that he had to at least let us walk him in and get him settled! Goofy kid.
Once inside, they were pretty excited because everyone was getting their swimsuits on to head to the pool. They had to do swimming tests to determine their level of swim ability. So that was cool. They got there, set up, and changed into their suits and were off with the rest of the kids in their cabin.
I miss them tonight though. I wish I could go tuck them in. And I hope they aren't homesick!! They are probably sound asleep by now, but the nighttime is always hardest when it comes to being homesick.
I'll mail them packages tomorrow and send off some letters. It's gonna be a long week!!

Appointment update

Zachy had his yearly cardiology visit today.
It went really well.
I had told him that there would be no ouchies, just tickles. When we got in the room, I showed him the wand they would put on his chest to see his heart and the screen where he could see his heart. I also told him there would be lots of slime.
He did really really well for the echo and ekg. He would say, "no ouchies mommy" and "tickle tickle mommy" I was so proud of him. And he thought his "stickers" were pretty cool, even if they hurt a bit coming off.
Everything looked great. YAY!!
However, the dr wanted him to do a 24 hour holter monitor. So he hooked him all up. I asked the dr if it would be hard to keep it on him. He told me no, as long as he had a shirt on.
Well, we got home, I went in to start laundry and right away Zachy came to me saying, "all done mommy" with all the electrodes off. That made them lose their sticky. So the dr said we could just use tape. Since then, it's been a battle to keep the tape stuck to him. Matt did it pretty well tonight.
It kind of freaks me out. It sends me back to too many terrible memories, seeing him with all kinds of wires coming off of him. Ick.
Depending on how the monitor looks, will determine how long until the dr wants to see him again. I'm really afraid it will be like a several year thing. And while that must sound great to you all, it scares me. I like knowing that he is doing good.
So there you have it. Good news. Phew!

These things are not good

I have lost my keys. I'm sure I just saw them. But alas...where? I've searched nearly everywhere...and no keys.
Yesterday, the boys were all in there room playing and I went in to talk to them. Matthew was sitting on his bed, which happens to be a top bunk. All of a sudden there was a "POP" and one of the main support boards just snapped. There is no way to fix it. He wasn't being rough or anything, and the boy doesn't even weigh 60 pounds yet. Just..POP. So, he slept with Zachy last night, and Dillon complained that everyone got to sleep on the bottom, so he slept with Collin. I told Matt we should just push the two bottoms together and make it a king size bed and let them all sleep together!
Seriously though, I don't know what we will do about the bed. Not good.

Do you see how rough they are??

Matt informed me yesterday that if Michele had been eating a pork chop, my bacon bit pun would have been funny.
Then, I wake up this morning to read my email, and I read a comment from my mother in law, saying the exact same thing!
THEY'RE RELENTLESS I TELL YA!!! I'm still such a wit baby, you'd think they'd give me a little bit of a break! Sheesh!!

And in the back of my mind..

I've been thinking about Friday. Zachy has his yearly cardiology appointment. I hate them. Truly. It makes me all a ball of nerves. I just wish we could blink and Zachy's heart would never have been sick. What I wouldn't give to take that all away. Unless it meant giving up my Zachy, then forget it.
Last year, our old card had mentioned do a 24 halter monitor on Zach this year. We'll see what the new card says. He has quite a significant murmur, and it is what they focus on when they do his echo. It is caused by the placement of his suture line, and they stare at that white line for what seems like ages, before declaring it fine.
Anyway, just keep us in your thoughts, and pray that his heart is just as healthy as it was last year!

PARTY TIME

Monday night, our neighborhood had a pool party. It is hard to say neighborhood, because it was only the officers. We live in the same neighborhood with enlisted folks, but it was just the officers there. We had the pool from 7-10 and we had a barbecue. It was great fun.
Zachy was so funny. He repeatedly jumped in yelling, "cannonball!!"
We'll buy our pool passes tomorrow...and I see us spending a LOT of time over there this summer. It is right behind our houses, so quite convenient. Hooray for summer! And hooray for swimming pools!

Houston....we have a problem...

The W******* are approaching!
That's all I could think of on our way to Houston last weekend.
We made the trip and saw my dad and his wife. They actually live in Oregon, but had a layover there last weekend. So we went to see them. And they got us a room in the hotel. We had to get adjoining rooms, and Matthew and Dillon stayed in their room, because the 6 of us exceed the maximum capacity rules. Matthew and Dillon thought it was so great.
My dad and Michele gave my boys all shirts. They had been in Roatan, Honduras. The shirts said, Bad Boys Club...Roatan. Matthew took one look and exclaimed, "Bad boys club...ROTTEN!" It was priceless.
Anyway, we had a great time and were glad we went. But I have to say that Houston really didn't do anything for my feeling of Texas. I was actually really glad to be home. I wouldn't want to live there.

Wit and Grease

My in laws are quite witty. Well, my mother in law and sister in law and hubby are. My father in law...not so much...which is why we get along so well, I'm sure of it. Everyone likes to pick on us! Brother in law falls in the middle. He could really care less if he is witty or not.
But, for the fourteen years that I have been a part of these people's lives, they have ridden me about my lack of wit. In the recent years, my mother in law and sister in law have told me I'm getting a bit better.
I try. I really do. Mostly, I embarass Matt. I feel for him, but obviously not too badly because I'm about to knowingly embarass him right now. He never really finds me funny, he just pokes fun at my attempts to be funny. And if it is public, he just buries his head thinking, "she is sooo not funny, no one will think this is funny" But nevertheless, I persevere! Which leads me to my greatest wit accomplishment.
It happened this weekend. We were in Houston seeing my dad and step mom. We were at a restaurant. Michele (step mom) had ordered a petite steak. When they brought it out, it was TINY! I mean..TINY!! We all joked about it being so small, and without missing a beat, I said, "if it were any smaller, it'd be a bacon bit" . Everyone but Matt, thought it was pretty funny, and I was feeling really proud of myself until I saw the look on Matt's face that said, "she is just embarassing herself".
Oh well. I still find it funny. And I do think it was the best I've come up with. Sorry to embarass you honey, but I'll never be the witty girl. I'll forever be the girl that the witty people poke fun at.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I found the greatest find at Wally World the other day. In a totally unexpected place. We were looking at bike tire pumps when I glanced to the right. And what did my eyes behold?? A DVD of GREASE 2!!! For...drumroll please....$5.50!!! You know I wasn't passing that up. Well, if you know me, you know I wasn't passing it up.
I have come to think that maybe Matt wants a motorcycle because of the movie. Because I love to sing:
If you really wanna know
what I want in a guy
well I'm looking for a dream
on a mean machine
with hell in his eyes.....
Only when I sing it, I picture myself looking as beautiful and sexy as Michelle Pfeifer, which is the furthest thing from the truth. But maybe Matt thinks I really want a cool rider. I always was attracted to those bad boys. It's how I first was attracted to him, but he tricked me good! He was so far from bad.
Anyway, my love...I don't really want a cool rider. I really just want you. So there is really no need for you to desire a motorcycle so much. Can we just lay that to rest?? :-)

Thanks Mom

I have been getting the kids stuff together for camp. And labeling all of their clothes. This isn't sissy stuff, I'll tell ya! LOL There is a lot more work involved in sending kids to camp than I ever knew! Doesn't help that I'm trying to get two kids ready at the same time!
So thanks mom, for all the years that you labeled my clothes and made sure I had just the right amount of toiletries for camp.

Good Grief

Matthew stapled his finger today. Crazy kid. Well, I guess he isn't crazy, he didn't do it on purpose, but still!
We are going to Houston this weekend. My dad is coming home from being out of the country and has a layover in Houston, so we will drive down there and see them for the night.
Today is my sister's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIMEE!!! I tried to tell her she is getting old, but she isn't buying it! HEHEHE
I think I need to explain something about the last post. We are teaching our kids that it isn't ok to hit anyone. The problem is coming with the neighbors telling their kids that they are not allowed to hit girls, but not reprimanding the girls for doing anything. I have talked to C's mom, in fact SHE talked to me. Said that she had seen M and C pushing and it was not ok for M to be pushing C. This has taken place several times, and we had already addressed it. But in her mind, it doesn't matter what C does to Matthew, she's a girl, he's a boy, end of story. I just really don't think it is ok.
I know in my comments Leslie said she feels there is a big difference between girls hitting boys and boys hitting girls, and I'm sorry, I have to disagree. Boys are NOT always stronger than girls, and just because one is a boy and one is a girl, does not make it ok for the girl to hit the boy. Does any of that make sense? I know plenty of women who have beat up their husbands. And because the man was taught never to hit a woman, he has taken it. That is so wrong. I certainly don't want my kids to think they can't defend themselves because they are boys.
And then, it is probably just my skewed thinking because I don't have any girls to worry about, and as they say...boys are easier. *rolling eyes*

Raising Boys

You know, people often tell me that boys are much easier than girls to raise. That there are less worries.
I obviously don't have any girls to compare it with, but there are definitely things that pop up that make boys tough. Things that I haven't quite figured out how to deal with.
We have a neighbor girl, C, who is way too much like Matthew. They both like to be in charge. And they both don't like to budge if they can't be in charge. Because of this, they butt heads....a lot.
Lately, it seems to be turning physical. No hitting, but pushing certainly takes place.
Of course, they both always say the other started it.
After the first episode, we informed Matthew that it was NOT ok to lay his hands on a girl. And as the words were falling out of my mouth, I realized just how off it seems.
Yes, boys tend to be stronger, but does that mean that boys have to take a beating from a girl, just because she is a girl? That doesn't seem right to me.
I am pretty traditional when it comes to the roles of boys and girls. I absolutely believe the man should be the bread winner, and the woman should be home taking care of that home. And I am not a feminist. Far from it.
I just don't know how to handle this. Seriously. We all know of people who have relationships where the woman DOES beat up man. And is that ok, just because he was unfortunate enough to be born with a penis?? I don't think so.
I will continue to tell Matthew that he can't lay his hands on C, ever, but I'm so not sure that is the right answer. I don't understand why it is ok for her to lay her hands on him though.
*sigh*
See, people don't think of these things when they make comments about boys being easy. It certainly isn't easy!

We're DONE!

My boys finished up their books today.
They are officially done with school for the year! WOOHOO!!
Matthew spent a long time yesterday and last night finishing his up. Dill finished today.
Now to get started ordering their new stuff for next year. And next year I'll be throwing Collin in to the mix! FUN!

Because there will never be too many songs

I changed my song...again. This one fits my blog a bit better. While I love the last song, it was a bit too rockish for my blog.
This is my song for my beloved. It has been for years now. There are few songs that fit us better than this one.
If you happen to be new to our life, we got married at 18 and everyone said we wouldn't make it. No one wanted us to get married, but we did anyway. It was the best decision I've ever made, and I wouldn't have done it any other way. Yes, it's been hard, but it's only made us stronger.
So my dear Matt, you're still the one. I love you more than anything. Thank you for being my everything.

Matthew's wish list

The other day, Matthew came to me and said...
"I know what I want for my birthday. Three things.
1. A bicycle, of course
2. a lifetime supply of bread, but I'm kidding about that.
and 3. an ipod"
OK, first of all, how funny is it that my kid says he wants a lifetime supply of bread, then follows it with an I'm just kidding?
And secondly, how is it that he is old enough to want an ipod? And he doesn't even go to school!!

It's tough to realize you aren't what you thought you'd be

When I use to picture myself as a mom(you know way back before I was a mom), I didn't picture myself like this.
I always thought I'd be the mom that everyone loved. The neighbor kids would love to come over because I was the cool mom. I would bake warm chocolate chip cookies for them. I would cook good home cooked meals that everyone would love. My house would always be nice and neat and clean. I would have the patience of a saint, and I would certainly never lose my temper with my kids, heaven forbid!
But what I am, is completely opposite what I thought I'd be.
I cook nice, home-cooked, healthy meals for my wee ones, and they all complain and turn up their noses. Matt will at least eat my cooking, but I've been married to him long enough to know when he doesn't like the cooking either.
Really, the neighbor kids don't like me all that much, because I'm much too hard on my kids, and it isn't all that fun to come over here. I'm certainly not the cool mom, so far from it, as a matter of fact. I rarely bake cookies. My house is always a pig sty, which Matthew informed me today was like a trash can. He said there are flies and it's always messy. Nice observation! I certainly don't have much patience, and I certainly lose my temper.
I'm not sure I like this mom I am. I'm not sure my kids even like the mom I am.
Although, I have to say, when I pictured the mom I'd be, I never pictured me homeschooling. And I never pictured me sleeping with my kids, or nursing for an extended amount of time. And forget cloth diapers. I was the typical mainstream mom in my dreams. I know for sure I don't want to be a mainstream mom, and am so glad I didn't go that route. I just wish I were a better mom.
And I wonder if maybe the mom thing doesn't really come naturally to me at all. I see mew moms doing a far better job than me, and I think they really have it all together. Here I've been doing this a long time, and I don't have it together.
I pictured myself June Clever. I turned into Roseanne Connor. Why can't there be a happy medium??

Health fair

I took the kids to a health fair today. It was at a private school and the kids put it on. It was all about your body. There were real kidneys, eyes, brain, heart, and a rabbit that was all opened up.
Matthew thought it was quite gross, while Dill thought it was pretty cool, and he touched everything.
I don't think that Collin got that it was real stuff from inside your body. Zach slept the whole time.
As for me, I got sick to my stomach because of the strong fermaldahyde (sp?) smell. Oh man, I could never be a science teacher. Ick.
It's hot here today, so we've hung out inside all day long.
The kids are almost done with their books for the year. By the end of next week they'll be done. YAY! I'm so ready for school to be done for the year.

If I could save time in a bottle

My mother asked me the yesterday if I was alright because I hadn't updated. LOL Who knew she checked on me every day?
I have been thinking alot lately, about how I wish I could ingrain memories into my head so I never ever forget them. My kids are growing so quickly, and this time will be done before we know it.
Some things I want to remember~
~the day we were at the zoo, we were in the reptile house, and I got the pleasure of taking my Collin around with me. Matt had Zachy and the older boys, and Collin and I just took our time. He was so fascinated. I had to lift him up to see in each cubicle. He would hollar, "YIKE!" at the sight of the snakes. One time I lifted him up to look in a tank, and we couldn't see anything. Except there were several flatish, round, smooth stones. He got SO excited and said, "LOOK MOMMY!! It's TURTLES!!" It was so cute. I had to tell him that nope, it wasn't turtles, just rocks! How I love his enthusiasm and innocence.
~Monday evening, I was sitting outside. My boys were playing with the neighbor kids. You have to understand that we live in town house type houses and our particular building is in the shape of an 'L'. We are back in a corner, and there are 4 families that live in them, but there are 8 units. We live at the end of the long side of the L and the other three families live right down at the corner of the L. They were all down there and I was just watching them. Dillon and his friend C, were on her stoop playing UNO. Collin and Zachy were riding bikes with the other two 4 year olds, and Matthew was chasing them. Everything was perfect. The breeze was blowing, and everyone was happy. Eventually, as usually happens, the hoses came out. And the water guns. And what ensued was a huge water fight. That included Matt and I on opposite teams, each with our kid teammates. I was abandoned by my teammates as they realized that they were on the losing team! LOL It was so fun to be the fun parents. The kids LOVED drenching us. And we LOVED drenching them! Lots of laughter. It is a moment I never want to forget.
~the same day at the zoo, we were walking along and Dillon hollared, "MY COUSINS!" We weren't sure what in the world he was talking about, but he took us to the warthog exhibit! He thinks since he has warts, surely they must be his cousins! Goof ball
~yesterday, we were in the car, and Dillon was wearing his visor upside down and sideways. I told him he couldn't wear it like that because everyone would think he was a punk. I had to explain to him what a punk was, and he said, "oh no, I am NOT a punk" But, Collin caught on and immediately said, 'Dillon's name is punkin, and I'm going to EAT him!' LOL So once we got out of the van there was lots of chomping of the teeth! It was funny.
~and last but not least, last night, Collin and Zachy were supposed to be upstairs in their beds going to sleep. It didn't take long for them to be downstairs with us. And they both promptly went and snuggled up in Matt's arms. I wish I had a camera, it was priceless.
That's it for now. Gotta go be with the boys.

It is a very good feeling

When you realize your child can read. And that YOU taught them. Dillon is reading much better at this age than Matthew was. Which is strange because Matthew started out way more advanced. Before this year started, Dillon couldn't even recognize his letters. If you'll recall, I was certain he must have some learning disability, because no matter how hard I tried, he just wasn't getting it. And now...he's a reader!!! How awesome!
Now to get to work on Collin!

Multi-tasking has never been my strong point

I just realized that I have way too much stuff going on in this head of mine!
While I'm not actually physically doing a lot of stuff I am constantly thinking about the following things
~what curriculum we are using for the kids next year (this is a huge issue for me every year)
~VBS!!! Everything about it, will we have enough money? enough helpers? am I doing enough? Will it all get done in time? What do I need to be doing today?
~being a slacker family member....must get to the post office
~finishing this years school work
~what do I need to get before my kids head to camp? will Dillon wet the bed at camp? if so, will he be teased? Will Matthew be ok with out Dillon? (he originally said he didn't want to be with him, but once I sent the stuff in, he panicked a little when he realized he won't be able to be with Dillon, at all)
~I have to schedule Zachy's cardiologist appt, but they aren't scheduling in June yet...must remember to call back next week.
~how am I going to get back on the weight loss track?
~how am I going to afford a new camera?
~how are we going to swing starting Adventurers AND Pathfinders? Is it possible? If not, which do we do?
Those are just some thoughts I have going on right now. And I know, much of it is trivial, and it isn't like I'm worrying about it(like the camp thing, totally not worried about it, they will be fine) it is just a thought floating in my head.
I am so ready for this school year to be over. And VBS. It is so much more stressful than it would be if we had some money in the budget for it! This will be the first time this church has had VBS in this building. It is across the street from a huge housing complex. We will blanket it with flyers. Which adds more stress, how many kids to plan for?? Next year will be easier, we will have VBS in the budget, and we will have an idea of how many people will show up. Although, I could screw this up royally and they could easily say that there is no way they will ever let me lead VBS again. Matt noted last night, that I am not leading any of the classes. I personally, don't think that is my job. I have to take care of making sure everyone knows HOW to lead their classes, and I have to recruit all the workers, and I have to do all the behind the scenes stuff, like getting it on the radio, and getting these flyers out, etc. I think that is fair. I have to make sure things run smoothly whilst VBS is actually happening. Am I wrong? Should I be teaching a class? There are enough leaders to do them, but did I do bad? *Sigh*
What was I thinking when I agreed to do this??? UGH!!!! OK, just this one time, then I will feel empowered, and I'll be able to do it next year. It's just this first time is a killer!!!

More Dillon funnies

We taught the kids how to play Clue this weekend. It is really great reading practice for Dillon and they really have to think.
Anyway, at one point, Dillon was looking at something on his pad, and it was taking him forever. We asked what was wrong and if he needed help. He said, "I just can't find Mrs Cluck" We all laughed and told him her name was Mrs Peacock, not Mrs Cluck.
He also can never remeber Miss Scarlet's name. He calls her Miss Garlic. And you have to picture him saying it in a totally snobbish voice, he'll go, "I'd like to make a discussion(that's funny too,cause it is supposed to be suggestion), I think it is Miss Garlic, in the conservatory...with the POISON!!" He is so dramatic when he says it all, and he sounds so funny. I wish you could hear it, but alas, that's the internet.

Phooey

We went to Sea World today(and boy was it HOT). Had a good time. But as we were loading the car, our camera got dropped. Now it isn't working. :-( I am so so sad.
It is our digital. We have a regular one, but that one doesn't work either, so we've been relying on our digital. Now, we have no working camera. Which, isn't a good thing in this family. We have some big expenses coming up too, so it isn't like I can just go buy a new one. Start clicking those ads up top, help my get a camera!! LOL

These things must only happen in my house

or not....
the other day I opened my sock drawer...to find 5 cheetos. I don't know when the last time we had cheetos in the house was. Which tells you how long it's been since I wore socks.
~*~*~*~*
Yesterday, I worked my tail off, and cleaned my house, top to bottom, I even mopped. I hate mopping.
Shortly after I was done, Zach got in the fridge and broke all the eggs on the floor. Guess it wasn't clean enough!
~*~*~*~*~
We also had an entire Icee dumped over in the freezer today, while it was being put in by little hands. Such fun to clean up!

Dillon, my boy, cracks me up

Conversation between Dill and me
Dill~I wish I didn't have freckles
Me~Why is that? I love your freckles.
Him~Because all of the girls like me, because of my freckles. (SO SERIOUSLY)
Me~yep, some day you will like that
Dill~well, I don't, and I wish I didn't have them so that they didn't like me. ALL the girls like me!
Me~trust me on this, someday you'll be glad
Dill~ (grumbling)no I won't, I hate my freckles!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Learning the books of the Bible, he cannot figure out that Lamentations is LAMEN-tations, and not Lemon-tations

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the car, the boys have taken to reading their Bibles. They say, "tell me a verse, and I'll read it to you"

So, John 3:16 it was. Dill says, "I know that one! For God so loved the world, that he gave his only FORGOTTEN son....."

I'm stuck in the 90s

I started scrapbooking in 1998.
Back then, you were quite limited to stickers. There weren't all the fun embellishments there are today.
I want to scrap our Disney trip...badly. Yet, I'm so stuck. I want to do these new techniques, but I don't know how.
There's all sorts of fun stuff these days, and yet I'm stuck with STICKERS! So sad. For one thing, all the new stuff is $$$$$...but still, I like it.
My best friend is coming here in June. She started scrapping when she came to visit me after Z was born. She had never scrapped before. Now she teaches classes. She does absolutely awesome work, and I'm a bit envious.
She knows when she comes, that she must bring all her scrapping supplies so she can teach me...and yank me out of the 90s!!

Mercyme

I added Mercyme's new song "so long self"...it takes awhile to load, but I love love LOVE this song. I love the line, "this life is not about me apparently"
So true! Enjoy!

Random pictures

The weekend before my surgery, we went to the zoo. We'd never been to this zoo. It's alright. Definitely not the best we've been to, but better than none I guess.
These are just some random pictures we took

This is my adorable Collin. The kid is so funny. I love him so much. He is always acting so silly. I told him I wanted to take his picture and to say cheese!



This is one of our guinea pigs. Illustrating the fact that we saw capyburas at the zoo, you know...the giant guinea pigs. LOL



I always have thought this is a type of spanish moss. I could be wrong though. But it is funny stuff. It falls off the trees looking just like this. Matthew is absolutely terrified of it, and Dillon carries it and chases him with it. It's quite funny, because hello...it's moss. Matthew is just sure it is something gross though.



One of the boys took this picture of the grizzly bear. Doesn't he look so sad? Like he's saying, "please....let me out!"



My favorite guys!!

A jar of what?

I was just collecting my little ones from the neighbor, and as I was taking mine out, their little girl came out too. So I asked the dad if he wanted me to keep the door open, or close it. He said to leave it ajar.
This took me straight back to my childhood.
We owned a fancy schmancy Chrysler New Yorker. It talked to you in a robotic voice. We named the voice James, and would always talk back to him.
Well, having children, the most common phrases he ever said were, "please, fasten your seat belt" and "a door is ajar"
My sister and I would always say, "a jar of what? peanut butter?"
We were such goofballs, and it made us laugh.
So when he said, 'leave it ajar' I wanted to say, 'a jar of what? peanut butter?'

How will she survive??

That's what you will be asking yourself in a minute.
Yesterday's high was 98. Not sure what it was with the heat index.
Currently, it is 85, but it feels like 98. The actual high is supposed to be 99 today, so with the heat index already so high...how will it feel?
And so the question is...how will I survive?? Thank goodness for A/C!!
I don't like extreme heat (really I don't like the 90s) and I think it is a cruel joke that I live in Texas!!

I should not have been so hard on the military

In my panic, I was awfully hard on the military medical docs. And the reality is...a civilian doc screwed me up, a military doc fixed me. I was so wrong to doubt them.
I have also been thinking about the fact that God's timing is perfect. If this was discovered while we were on the outside, we would be facing a hefty medical bill right about now. Instead, you the faithful taxpayers, paid for my surgery. Thanks! :-) And while I'm thanking you, thank you also for my house, and my food, and everything we use every single day to live, and even the things we play with! We couldn't survive without you!! :-)

The numbers

I had Matthew almost 10 years ago.
In those 10 years I have been pregnant for 3 years and 8 months.
I have breastfed for 5 years and 7 months. In the past 10 years I've been breastfeeding more than not. Wild.
I've gained 160 pounds (wow that sounds so bad!! but it was while pg) and lost 110 pounds.
OK, I can't think of any other strange numbers that are absolutely meaningless!!

And since the water still isn't boiling...

I will write to say that I am feeling MUCH better. I am off all pain meds and so am not nearly as tired.
One week makes a big difference.
Now I do have a question. Could I take a sleep aid? I mean, just for one night. I hear the ads about waking up refreshed! Since Zachy isn't in our bed anymore, and waking me up all throughout the night, I'm having a hard time sleeping. Isn't that just crazy? My body is just used to waking up. But now, everyone is sleeping through the night, and I would like to also.
I crave just one full night sleep, so that I can wake up nice and refreshed....like I haven't in oh...about 10 years!!
What do you all think??

Disconnected

I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head that I want to get down, and yet, I never feel like writing. Nothing of great importance, just stuff I feel like blogging about.
But this topic has been floating for awhile, and while I wait for the water to boil, I figure I'd write it down.
It is amazing to me, just how quickly we become disconnected from other people.
For awhile, when we moved here, I didn't think I could handle being alone. And yet, here we are, almost a year later, and we are fine.
However, in that year, our familial relationships have slipped further and further away. It is sad, really.
It isn't uncommon for weeks to pass in between talks with my in-laws, and by in-laws I mean mother and father. I think the last time I talked to one of my sisters-in-law was back when her mom passed in January. How can that be? But it is true. The other one, I talked to last weekend, but that is because she had a question for us. Before that, it had been weeks, maybe even months.
I honestly have no idea when the last time I talked to my dad was. It's been months and months. He is a traveler, and so I have no idea if he is even in the country right now, or not. Probably so, I'm just saying, it's been awhile.
My sister says I can't go a day without talking to her, but she is going back to work soon, so that will all change. We will go back to months passing in between talking. I have only seen a few pictures of my new niece.
Speaking of nieces, I have only seen a few of my other niece who was born in August.
I do talk to my mom. Probably because she doesn't have a job, so it is easy to time calls to her.
Distance does that to people. And part of me thinks I have a big part to do with the distance, by having this blog. Everyone in our family, knows all the details of what is going on in our lives, and yet I couldn't tell you a single thing that is going on in theirs.
Am I blaming anyone? Heck no. We are all to blame.
I mean, even though I talk to my mom, I completely forgot her birthday this year. And I have my nephew's birthday present sitting here waiting to mail. His birthday was in April.
But even though our families read my blog, you will only see the occasional comment from them. My grandma is faithful in emailing me after every time she reads. That is nice. At least I know I'm not boring her to tears!
I realize that this is sounding like a guilt trip, and I so don't mean it that way. Like I said, I am as much to blame as everyone else. I could certainly do a better job of shooting out the occasional email or calling everyone.
Yet, life gets in the way. We get busy, and the little things go by the wayside.
We are alone here. Thank goodness we have our family to keep us busy. And I am becoming very aware of the importance of a church family.
At any rate, I don't know why I'm rambling on about this, it is just interesting to me, just how quickly you become totally disconnected from people you once used to know current details about.
I must do better.

*yawn*

I feel pretty good today. My head is foggy. I can't, for the life of me, remember if I took an ibuprofen this morning, but I don't think I did. I remember thinking that I was going to, but I don't think I actually did.
I wish my head wasn't foggy. I wish my eyes could focus on something without the rest of my line of vision being blurry. I just feel odd.
I'm not in much pain at all. Every once in a while the boys will somehow push on my belly, and that hurts, but that's about it.
I'm just so so tired. Physically drained.
I can't wait for this to pass. I'm itchin to get a full days worth of housework done, and not be so drawn to the couch for a little rest. Maybe by next week.
Maybe I'll just sleep the weekend away.
Matt leaves on Monday for Denver, so I guess I will be forced to do all the care taking, that could be very very good for me.
But for now...*yawn*

The rest of the crew

Everyone else is doing well. We had some sickies last week, but no more.
We had a good time at the zoo on Saturday and Sea World on Sunday.
Matthew was supposed to have a tooth pulled yesterday, but freaked out too badly. Now they will have to do it under general anesthesia. Poor thing!!

Something happened in the process

When I went in to surgery they told me I wouldn't be able to nurse Zach for 24 hours.
We decided it was time to actively wean.
I know this is making some lactivists shake their heads in shame. But that's ok.
We nursed for 33 months, that is something to be proud of.
Zach has had no problems. He has asked to nurse just a couple times, and has been content to scamper off and do something else when I tell him I have owwies.
It is a bit sad to see this part of our relationship go. He truly is a big boy now....now to get him out of diapers! ;-)

Sorry if this is a repeat

Apparently, I didn't explain my situation very well, because I've gotten several emails from people asking about the IUD incident. So let me try to clarify it better.
Six weeks after Zach was born, September 2003, I had a Mirena IUD placed. It hurt too bad going in, and I knew something was wrong. However, I figured it was because I truly never wanted it in the first place. It was just something I did. I made a big bad mistake that I regret. It caused me severe abdominal pain and much vaginal bleeding. It was put in on a Thursday.
By that Tuesday, I decided it was time to go to the dr. I could never feel the strings, but thought that due to all the bleeding, maybe they were just hard to find or feel.
When I went to the dr, they confirmed that there were no strings, and did a transvaginal ultra sound to see if it was still in my uterus. They decided it was no longer in my uterus, and had fallen out. The pain, they told me, was because my uterus was infected. They offered to put another one in, which I vehemently declined.
Fast forward to this year. Many problems with ovarian cysts and very irregular menstrual cycles. I went to a dr in September of 2005 who informed me that all my troubles were from nursing, and as soon as I weaned Zach the troubles would go away. I questioned whether it was possible for the IUD to still be in my abdomen. She laughed and said no.
By April, I was having a 7 day period every other week. As you will recall, I was also dealing with another cyst. I finally made an appointment and was seen.
The doc I saw this time decided to fully check me out. She ordered loads of blood work. When I told her that I always felt there was still an IUD floating around in my body, she chuckled, and said it was highly unlikely, but she would order an x-ray to be sure.
The x-ray revealed the IUD, which they suspected was in place, in my uterus. But since x-rays can't see organs, they weren't totally sure. I, however, at this point was certain it was not in my uterus.
On Monday, they sent a scope into my uterus through my cervix to discover it wasn't there. So they proceeded to do a laproscopy to try to find it. This is when they discovered it was embedded in my colon.
We are certain now, that it perforated my uterus when the doc was inserting it, which is why I never felt strings.
This literally, could have killed me. A loose IUD can so some major organ damage. The Mirena IUD is plastic with a vial of progesterone on it. In place, the hormone is supposed to be emitted but stay locally in the uterus. This doesn't make much sense to me, but whatever. The dr told me that I was getting a much higher dose of progesterone due to it flowing through my blood stream. Having it out, should straighten my hormones out. I hope so.
So there you have it, the whole long story. Sorry to bore you!

Still alive

I'm still alive. I feel surprisingly miserable. I figured a few incisions on the belly would be no big deal. But between the pain and being nauseous...ick.
Anyway, the IUD was embedded in the fat the surrounds the colon. Lovely.
Here are a few pics.

They spot it with the camera.



working on getting it out



Almost out.



Everything went fine and I am pleased to report that the stupid thing is out of me...for good. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm off to go lay down...