Belly Pic

I have several pics of the kids that I need to upload and put here. But it's all time consuming, so for now, here you go. Me at 24 weeks.

I'm still alive

I'm so sorry I disappeared for so long. I have been battling a terrible sinus infection. And boy howdy did it knock me out. I was so exhausted. I don't know if it was a combination of being pregnant and sick or what, but I was out of it.
Strangely, I was the only one to be sick. Thank goodness for that!
It's been so long since I wrote, that I don't even know what to put in this entry. Maybe I'll do another random thought entry, cause I know you all love those.

~We celebrated thanksgiving at home, just us. It was nice. We put up our christmas tree and all our christmas decorations. After all, thanksgiving is the beginning of the holiday season. HA! I would have had the tree up after the halloween decorations came down if I didn't think it was a bit much.
Our meal was yummy, if I do say so myself. I wasn't going to do the whole turkey and fixins meal, but Matthew insisted that I did. I'm glad he did, actually. It all turned out really nice.

~At my last drs appointment, my dr wasn't there. I saw a midwife instead. She said that she's known my peri for 20 years and has never known her to be wrong in her sex determinations. Not that I was really doubting, but I think it helped Matt to hear that. He is finally accepting that there might be a little girl in there, after all!
We also discussed the two hospitals that my dr delivers at, and she told me to take tours of both before my next appointment and then discuss the pros and cons with my dr. And of course, there are pros and cons to both. We'll see what happens. We already toured the baptist hospital, and we go next week to the methodist. We got to see a brand new baby who was being looked over in the nursery. Matt and I both thought that he was incredibly pink. It's amazing that the memory that sticks out most is the memory of Zachy. I don't really remember if my other kids were as pink as this baby, but I can tell you that Zachy was no where NEAR that pink.
I was lightheaded through a lot of the tour. Could have been cause I was sick, but I was only lightheaded in certain areas, so I think it was just the overwhelmingness (like that word??) of it all. After the tour, the guide took me to the NICU, just to show me that it exists and is functional.

~Last week, Zachy had his appointment with the new cardiologist. He was ok. A good cardiologist, just not very personable. I was so spoiled in Idaho! Anyway, he was diagnosed with bradycardia (slow heart rate) and sick sinus syndrome (basically a very irregular rhythm). Right now his energy level is really good, so we just leave him be. But he said he wouldn't be surprised at all if somewhere down the line he needs a pacemaker. He also said it is impossible to predict when that might be, but as long as his energy level is high, we're good. He continues to be seen once a year, with a holter monitor yearly. Once he hits about 5, they'll start doing exercise tests on him to see how his rhythm is.

~My mom is leaving today for their vacation. They'll visit family in Ohio and then come down to see us. They should be here around the 13th! The boys are so excited. It will be nice to have family down again. They'll stay for about a week, and we'll do our big Christmas celebration while they're here.

~A few weeks ago, Matthew and I were on our way to a store when he told me, "Mommy, last year I was pretty sure that there was no santa, but then you showed me that thing on the computer that shows you where he is, so now I'm not so sure" So, we discussed it and he decided that santa probably isn't real. He is beyond excited to be in on the secret and can't wait to help stuff stockings! Two days later, he lost a tooth. The next morning he sat down by me and said, "I have to tell you something. Last night I saw daddy, I know there isn't a tooth fairy. But is there an easter bunny??" It was so funny. He's growing up so fast.

I can't think of anything else worth writing right now, so I'll just close here.
Tomorrow I hit 24 weeks, time for a belly shot!

Celebs

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

OK, not really..but since it NEVER looks like Christmas here, I can start any ole time I like!!
I have officially finished all my shopping for our extended families. Everything is ordered and on it's way to it's destination.
I even shopped a bit for Matthew and Matt. So, all I have left is the boys and Matt. WOOHOO!! That feels GREAT!!
I have my Christmas cards and am debating writing a letter. This year has been so boring for us, that I think I might just leave it out this year. Less work for me. And as soon as I get them done, I can start on my Christmas baking. And when that's all done..I can start on my baby announcements!! YIPPEE!!
Some of you have asked what we want for Christmas, and I've said baby stuff. To help everyone out (and because it's so much fun!!) I'm going to go to Babies R Us tomorrow and register. Then y'all can just look online there and get an idea of what we need. Doesn't that sound like fun??
Matt has the day off tomorrow..what fun!!!
It's about time for my Christmas music to come on the site!!
Wow, I just looked at my ticker, and by Christmas I'll be in double digits! Time's flyin!!

More pictures

New Song

OK, so I haven't gotten to my Christmas music yet!
This is my current favorite song. Why? Well because I can just picture my Matt singing this when his baby girl gets married. Makes me cry every time!

Artist/Band: Heartland
Lyrics for Song: I Loved Her First
Lyrics for Album: I Loved Her First
Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

Ultra sound yesterday, and a pic of the family

So yesterday I had my ultra sound. It went like this.
She put the wand on my belly and looked at the screen.
Her, "Did you already know you are having a girl?"
Me, "well that's what you thought we might be having last time"
Her, "this baby is definitely a girl!"
So, there you have it. A BABY GIRL!!! FOR US!! WOW!!!
Everything that she could see looked good, but the stinker had her hands in front of her face the whole time so we couldn't see if there was any clefting. And her heart is still too little to know much about other than having 4 chambers.
She weighs 14 ounces now...and is cute as a button already! I can't wait to meet her!
I go back in a month, and hopefully we'll see her face that time!
Awhile ago our church had a church directory made where Olan Mills came and took pictures. Of course we had to buy some.
Here's the family pic. It is really centered better, but it is an 11x14 and wouldn't fit all the way on my scanner.

It's not a trick

But it certainly isn't a treat, either!
I'm half way done today!! So here is a belly shot, complete with my head, for you Robin!
See, I'm easy, all you have to do is ask!!

Pumpkin pics

Collin's pumpkin is on the left and Zachy's on the right.



Dillon's pumpkin. It is so funny with a tiny face. He did it himself.



Matthew's pumpkin that he carved himself.

Something you may or may not know

I'm lonely. And it's really hitting hard lately.
With the shirt, came a dvd of pictures of Matt's grandpa's life. He passed away in June.
I cannot tell you how much I love Matt's grandparents. They are two of the most wonderful people I have ever known. I look up to them. Matt's grandma is one of the most nonjudgemental people I have ever met. And papa Joe was too. I always thought it was so funny, how the two of them were on the same wave length. I guess after 60 years together, it's a given. But she would tell me a story about someone in their neighborhood...YEARS ago...like when their kids were growing up, and grandma would say, "what was that boy's name, Joe?" and I would think to myself, 'ummm she hasn't even started a story about that boy, how in the world would he know who she is talking about??' But, ALWAYS, he would tell her the exact name of the exact boy who was in her mind, that she would go on to tell me a story about. It was amazing.
I have never known anyone who has been married as long as them, and I long to have as long and happy life with Matt as they had with each other.
Papa Joe was full of stories. And silly songs. And funny sounds he would make to make the kids laugh.
And I miss him. And I'm so sad that we weren't there to say goodbye. And to let him know just how much we love him. I was only blessed to know him for 14 years, but he had such an impact on my life.
He is so much like Matt. Not only in looks, but in manner as well. I can almost look at him and know exactly what Matt will be like in 50 years.
Sometimes, life just gets away from us, and we never tell those we love how much they mean to us...and then it's too late. And look at me, I'm sitting here, crying my eyes out, writing this in my blog, for the world to see, but not for Grandma to see. How lame am I?? She is the one who I should be telling that I love, and just how much we miss them. And yet..here I am.
Of course in all the pictures, were pictures of cousins and aunts and uncles and sister in laws and brother in laws and mother and father in laws...and on and on. They all live up there. And I miss them too. So very much.
It is lonely here. I try to tell myself all the time, that we have each other, and that is all that matters, and I know it is true. I'm just so very lonely.
Yes, we have a wonderful church family, and we talk to our families, but it isn't the same. It will never be home.
And while we are here...life is going on without us...nieces and nephews are being born who we have never seen. Two nieces and one nephew...so far. I have a feeling there will be more while we are here. And our lives go on as well...here we are having a niece and a grand daughter, and no one will know her. My mom and step dad will be here when she is born, but who knows when we will ever see anyone else.
BLAH...this entry is making me thoroughly depressed. The boys are carving pumpkins (a chore I so do not like, I just take the pictures) and having a gay time, and I sit here in tears.
Off I go, to be with the only family here. And ultimately, the only one that matters, I suppose.
Maybe one of these days, I'll get around to telling everyone I love, just how much I love them.

Turns out I'm not the only optimist

This came in the mail yesterday from my in laws. Matt can just be a pessimist by himself!

ACK!! Can someone help me??

I must be losing my brain. If you couldn't tell, I've redone stuff here a bit. I lost my flickr badge. I have been sitting at flickr looking everywhere and I cannot for the life of me find where I need to go to put it back.
Les...Vic...Gina...anyone...could you help this poor pregnant lady??? LOL

Total preggo moment

This morning, Matthew had an appointment with the nuerosurgeon.
Let me explain to you that he has a fatty tumor (lipoma) in his brain. It has been there since birth, and in his 10 years, it has not changed one bit. It causes no problems whatsoever, it just hangs out up there.
We have a very thorough pediatrician who said that while we live in Texas, he would at least like us established with a nuerosurgeon, just in case. In case of what, I don't know. But I'm not against being established with certain drs, in fact, I think it is a very good idea for us. I'm still working on getting in with a craniofacial doc, but that's a whole other issue.
When I made the appointment, they told me to bring all his old films, and that he needed a current MRI, like in the last 3 months current. Since we haven't been seen by them, the ped. has to refer him for that. So, I talked with the ped. who said to just go to the appointment, and they could then order what they wanted, because he didn't know what they would want. Can't say I blame him, MRIs are exactly a one size fits all thing.
So, the appointment was this morning, and last night I realized that it was downtown and I would need money for parking. I went to the gas station on the way, and the ATM was out of money. So I bought something and got cash back to pay for the parking.
We get there, and completely struggle to find a parking spot. The parking garage left a whole lot to be desired, but whatever.
We get to the office and they ask for his films. I explain to them what I have, and why I don't have a current film. Because this isn't causing any problems. Well, they make me sit there forever, then inform me that the doctor will not see him today because we don't have films. ARGH!! I was so upset. I was nearly in tears, and thinking to myself 'if I wasn't pregnant this wouldn't be bringing me to tears!!' I asked them just exactly how I was supposed to go about getting these tests ordered when the pediatrician didn't know what they wanted. To which they replied, 'well, he'll just have to call us' Now see, had they just seen us, for 2 seconds, let us be established, then THEY could have ordered the tests!!
So, I went through all this trouble, had to pay for parking, for NOTHING. Made me grumpy grumpy. My poor kids.
We came home, did school, and now they are all outside playing with their remote control cars. I am baking 2 loaves of zucchini bread, and have batter for 2 more in the fridge.
The pediatrician's office is not happy about any of this, and are working on seeing what needs to be done.
This appointment was made back in August, so we're looking at the end of the year or next before we go back. I suppose that's a good thing, they won't remember me and how they almost made me cry!!

Matthew's masterpiece

Matthew went to work with Matt yesterday so he could get his ID. I emailed him halfway through the day and told him to draw me a picture. I figured it could pass the time since he loves to draw. What I didn't expect was for him to draw it on the computer.
I was really impressed with this!

Just for you Gina

I readded your song. I was messing with the template, and it made me lose a ton of stuff. So, just for you I put it back.

This, that, and the other thing

I feel I need to write something, since it's been awhile, but I don't really have a well thought out post. So, how about some random thoughts??

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Zachy is so cute. I know I have talked about his enthusiasm here before. The other day, I put a hand me down shirt on him. It was from the neighbor, so he hadn't seen it before. He put it on and said, "a new shirt?? for ME??" And I said, "yeah, a new shirt just for YOU" His eyes got huge and he said, "OH MY GOSH MOMMY, THANK YOU" You would have thought I just bought him a new car or something, he was so thrilled.

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We think Zachy may have split personalities. The boy can go from being sooo sweet to being so wild and rowdy. He doesn't listen at that time. It is crazy because it is the exact opposite of his sweet loving self. I've taken to calling him SPB...split personality boy.

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The great he/she debate is still going on in our house. Matt insists that this baby is a boy. I insist it is a girl. He says given our track record it has to be a boy. I told him that he is the optimist of the family, and this is something to be sooo optimistic about, and he is being a pessimist! HARUMPH!! He will be proven wrong on November 6!!

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Matthew got his military ID today. He is so tickled with himself. He keeps showing it off to everyone who will look. He said to me, "what are you on yours?" I said, "ummm spouse, and see, you're child" he said, "no, mine says Lieutenant, what are you?" I had to laugh. I said, "no that means DADDY is a lieutenant, not you" He was bummed, he thought he was an LT!!!

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Matthew has a nuerosurgeon appointment this week. Nothing exciting. He has a fatty tumor in his brain that causes no problems, but that should be watched. So the pediatrician set us up with a nuerosurgeon here. It should be fun taking all four boys to a serious appointment. And I know they will want to order a new MRI. What a pain that will be.

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Dillon got a hamster for his birthday, and today he was holding it and it got away. It was in the couch and I thought for sure we wouldn't get him. But we did. He just hung out there all day. Silly hamster!

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Collin is working so hard on his "S" words. It is really cute to listen to him, but I am so glad he is finally getting that he talks wrong.

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He has also gotten into the lying stage. Today, he pulled the cushions off the couch, while Zachy and Dillon were with me. When I went in the living room he said, "I didn't do it...it was Zachy" I said, "um, except Zachy was with me!" If there is no one else to blame, he'll blame the dog. It's silly.

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I made a creme pie for dessert tonight. The kids just came in and said,(at the top of their lungs) "we're ready for pie!!" So I must go and get pie.

What do you all think??

Alrighty, so I know this is just too silly for people like my mom and Matt, but I took a picture of my u/s video at the "girl" part.
So the question is....is this a girl??

Why I never call maintenance

We had to turn all our gas off the other night. And now the pilot light on the water heater won't work. I called maintenance yesterday, and told them about that and a few other things, assuming it would all be the same people.
Well, water heater man came out and determined that the water heater needs to be replaced, and if we're lucky, it will be today.
So here I sit, waiting for him to come with a water heater. And it isn't the same person that comes for the other stuff, so now I have to wait for another person to show up too. Which could take up to a week.
I have things I need to do. Like go pick up Collin's glasses, and go grocery shopping. But I can't, because I'm stuck here, waiting on them.
This is why I never call. I hate waiting on them. We won't even mention that they are all creepy and I hate being here with them.

Anyway, onto better things.

Since I didn't post a picture of Zachy last time, here he is. With all his dum dums.
Matt says he sure is getting skinny! You be the judge!



And because I just couldn't resist. And yes, all you skeptics out there, I did keep the receipt!!!

There's a special boy in this house today!

Eight years ago, at this time, I was holding a wee little newborn in my arms.
He was born at 1:05 PM. A whopping 9lb 10oz. The dr called him Bruno when he came out. He was perfect.
Now, he is such a big boy. More of a young man, actually.
He has the most tender heart of any of my boys. He will save the world some day! Or maybe just the animals. But I do know he will do great things.
He is also my most literal child. It is kind of humorous, he takes everything seriously. Makes it tough to kid around with him, but maybe someday it will come in handy.
He is a perfect little man, who loves his family, and loves God even more.
I am blessed to be his mommy. How did I ever get so lucky??
Happy birthday, Pickle boy, we love you!!!

Fightin back the tears

I've been teary eyed almost constantly since yesterday.
We went to Target, and were looking around the baby stuff.
Did you know that itty bitty girls, wear itty bitty tights? And things that say, "princess" or "sweet girl" not "champ" or "baby boy"? It's like a whole different world.
I wistfully felt all the soft pink fabrics and prayed they would be mine soon. And I started my dreaming.
A daughter. For us. Forever. It still leaves me speechless. I can't think of words to describe how I feel about this. Just...surreal.
Tears come to my eyes when I think of how a little girl will fit into our family. Will she be a girlie girl? Or a tomboy? Whatever she is, she'll be perfect. And she'll fit in perfectly.
I'll have a daughter.
And some of you have asked me how Matt feels about this. He says he doesn't believe them. But to tell the truth, I don't believe him. I think he's just afraid of getting his hopes dashed.
Matt has wanted a little girl since I was pregnant with Matthew. Before, actually. She already has him wrapped around her tiny little finger, and neither of them are even aware of it. I can picture him with his little girl. She will be his princess. She will be the apple of his eye. Of course he loves his sons more than anything, but a little girl...wow. I think of it, and the tears come, instantly.
I think of them at her wedding (yes, a long ways off, but I know how fast this all goes!!) I can see the look on his face when he walks her down the aisle.
Yes. This is a very, very good thing. And I am oh so grateful that accidents happen.
Who knows, she may even complete our family. You'll never get me to commit to that though...she may need a sister!! ;-)