Fun Times

Last night we went over to some new friend's house to play games.
They are a couple from church with a 4 year old little boy and a new baby girl on the way.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned here, that the pastor of our current church is the dad of one of our old friend's in Idaho. Anyway, old friend J is married to A with a little girl. A is on spring break so came down with the baby to visit our current pastor, her father in law. Got that?
The pastor also has a daughter who lives here. She is the one whose home we went to last night. So S and her hubby B had us and A (remember she's visiting for spring break) and S's mom T over for dinner and games.
That is clear as mud, no?
Anyway, my point is, we had a great time with new friends and an old friend. It's such a small world, and it feels good to know people who have ties to our old stomping grounds, ya know?
We played Apples to Apples which is great fun with people you don't know very well.
We were there from 6 till after 10. The kids had a great time too. It was just an all around good night.

You've gotta be kidding me!!

So this is one of the beetles. I took it's picture because it was still alive (I sprayed raid at all our doors last night, so lots are dead), it was moving ever so slightly. I turned it sideways to get a side shot and his rear end was eaten out and fire ants came pouring out. That's why he was moving, the stupid ants. GROSS!!

Give me yellow jackets!!

Oh my goodness. When we left Idaho I was excited because I had heard that there aren't any yellow jackets in Texas. I have never seen yellow jackets like I did in Idaho, so many of them. But with the exception of the pesky mosquitoes and earwigs, I can't really remember other bugs. There was a stinky beetle in Idaho, but it was small and harmless.
Well, let me tell you, I'll take the yellow jackets. Since we've been here...oh man...first it was these bugs that make such a loud whistling sound here that when Zachy first heard it he covered his ears and started crying. Those beetles leave their shells places and it freaked Matthew out. But nothing too bad.
Then I got stung by a stupid africanized bee that left me with a hugely swollen leg for about a month. Not good.
Then Zach got attacked by the fire ants.
Now, at church, there are rattle snakes (copper heads and water moccasins as well but we've not see those) and the other day a bat was hanging on the side of the church. I can deal with these.
I then heard that at the camp I'm sending my precious children to there are scorpions. Lovely.
Last night, my house was invaded with beetles. I don't know what kind, I tried to find a picture, but nothing matches. Maybe I need to take my own picture. They are harmless, but I am not kidding you, I opened my front door last night and there were at least a hundred on my steps and door. ACK!! They keep flying in my house too.
OK, so yes, I can handle all of these. And for the most part they are harmless. I would just rather deal with the yellow jackets!

I'm BA-ACK

Did you miss me? Did you even notice I was gone? ;-) Go ahead, admit it, you haven't given me a second thought. Oh wait, there are a couple of you who have.
Let's start with Vicki, over there at Flutterbees. Vicki is an online friend of mine. I've known her, oh...forever. OK, just since the late 90s, but it seems like forever. If you happen to remember my oooollllldddd website called Bekki's Deep End of the Ocean, that was done all by her. ANYWAY, get on with it, right? After writing my depressing entry about my appearance what should arrive at my door? Beautiful tulips!!! I was going, "who in the world is sending me flowers??" No one ever sends me flowers. Well, my sister did for my last birthday, but that's it. Vicki had sent them. With a note telling me that I am beautiful inside and out!
Can you believe it?? I smile everytime I look at them. I feel loved.
Thank you Vicki, you have no clue what it means to me to know people out there care!
Then there was Gina, over at Me, the kids & Mark, she offered to print out her blog and mail it to me so I didn't miss too much! LOL
And many others who popped in to say hello whilst I was away. Thanks for making a girl feel loved!
OK, so what did we do?
Well, my mom and stepdad were in town. So we went to our evangelical meetings. We also went to Sea World on Sunday. We showed them Matt's office, and took them to the River walk. Of course there was all the playing with the kiddies in between.
Collin was pretty heartbroken yesterday when I told him they had to leave today, and this morning when they left. He seems to be bouncing back ok. My mom made sure he understood that in a few months we would be up in Idaho visiting them. Course Collin said, "no, you stay HERE" Poor thing.
While we were at Sea World, we hit every single show. We also did most of the rides. We convinced Matthew to go on the Great White . It is an upside down roller coaster that you hang on. He was scared to death, but we convinced him it would be alright. And if he hated it he never had to go again. You have to understand that forever he has been loving the Steel Eel which is a super fast, super high rollercoaster that doesn't go upside down, but he just hasn't been able to brave the upside down one. He also hasn't been tall enough. Until Sunday. Matt and I went together for the first time, and we drug Matthew on too. He said that once we were locked in, he said to himself, "I am SO stupid" He wanted me to hold his hand. Halfway through, he threw my hand off of his and started raising his arms!! He got off and said, "that was SO awesome!" LOL My extremist....YAY!! He has informed us that this is his new favorite ride!
The weather was so crummy the whole time they were here. That's what I get. I've been telling them that it will be warm, and then a cold front blew through. I don't think it hit 80 at all while they were here.
So today, I'm working on catching up on my laundry, and getting things back in order. Which is always a pain after company, but it's worth it. If any of you want to come visit, you're more than welcome!!! I'll clean house after you leave too! :-)
OK this has turned long, and it's time to change laundry!

American Idol

So, I was updating my weight ticker (every half pound counts, right?) and noticed that one of the ads is for American Idol. Who will win, Chris or Taylor?
Personally, I am LOVING Chris. Doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes. I am also loving Mandisa. Taylor, not so much. I mean, he can sing, but is too distracting. I guess he would be ok on the radio, if I didn't have to watch him.
So my vote goes to Chris, and Mandisa.
Who are you voting for??

What will I do?

I occurs to me that I won't be able to post much, if at all, while my mom is here. More importantly, I won't be able to read anyone else's blogs. What will I do? One of my favorite past times is reading blogs. I'll miss so much in this next week!

Still Alive

I haven't gone off the deep end, I'm still here.
I was super busy yesterday. Spent the whole day getting the house in tip top shape for our company. At the end of the day, they never showed.
I'm not sure what is up, since no one has called us. I just know that we expected them last night. Who knows when they'll show.
The weather has gotten cold. In the 60s and windy. Serves me right. I've been bragging. Bad thing to do. When I talk to people in the NW I say, "oh, it's 30 and snowing there? Here it is in the 80s and 90s" My mom said, "I'm sure when I get there it will be cold" I assured her that wouldn't happen. HA. By tomorrow though, it is supposed to be back to the 80s. So that's good.
Dillon has a drs appt today to see if his zyrtec is working. It so isn't. So I think we'll be going to a nasal spray. His breathing is much better though. He says he can tell a big difference, so that's good.
I may not be around much once they get here. But I'll try to pop in and say hi.

Thank you

To those of you who have left comments and emailed me privately, thank you.
I guess it's true, misery loves company. LOL Maybe not so much, I'm just glad to know I'm not alone.
I still feel pretty rotten about myself, but today I'm dressed in sweats and an old T shirt, so that doesn't really help! Oops.
Hopefully, once this bloat is gone I'll feel a little ok again.
And a super special thanks to Shell, you made me smile. I'm glad you're my best friend. ((Hugs))

Disgusting

We went to Wally world and to the eye glasses store today.
When we were walking in the eye place I caught a glimpse of myself reflected in their tinted windows. The kind where it might as well be a mirror on the outside, yet perfectly clear on the intside.
I saw every little dimple of cellulite on my legs. I saw my terrible hair. I saw the most unattractive person I have seen, looking back at me, in the "mirror".
I wanted to cry. I am gross. So gross.
My poor hunk of a husband has to come home to me every night.
I am fat. My hair is bad. My face is broken out. I am gross.
I even did my hair today. Put on make-up and tried to look decent. And yet, no matter how hard I try, I am gross.
So do something about it, you say. Good grief...I am trying. Why can't I just be some cute thing that gained a little basketball of a tummy whilst preggo? Oh no, I have to be mammoth.
I would exercise tonight except that I feel like doo doo. I started my period last night, and because of my cyst (I'm assuming) I am in mucho mucho pain today. *Sigh*
How did this become my life? How did I let myself get so gargantuan? I'll tell you how. I felt bad today. I felt big and huge and icky. So what did I do at Wally World? I bought M&Ms. Smart. Real smart.
Maybe I should do something with my hair. Maybe that would lift my spirits. But there isn't much I can do. It's shoulder length. Matt doesn't like it much shorter. It is just so thick, and icky. It has this part wave to it since having Zachy. Looks like a perm is falling out. Gotta love it. Not.
OK, I'm off. Have more cleaning to do to prepare for my mom's arrival.

OH! AND GUESS WHAT!!!

The other night, Matt was spreading out mulch and I told him I was going to take down the birdfeeders and just hang up hanging plants.
The next day guess what I saw?
BIRDIES!! Little red BIRDIES!!! At my birdfeeder!! YAY
Matthew has seen some too, so slowly but surely they are on their way!

I'll take it! And a wee bit concerned

This morning I hopped on the scale, and well, check out my ticker. FINALLY, am I over the hump? Anyway, I looked and thought, 'that can't be right' Hopped off. Reset it. Got back on, same number. In true Taylor Hicks style I yelled out, "I'll take it!!". LOL If you watch American Idol you know what I'm talking about, if not, sorry...we'll call it an inside joke!

OK, so now why am I concerned? My mom and stepdad are coming to visit this week. Great, you say, why be concerned? Well, you see, Collin and my mom have this special bond. Prodded on, in the early years, by my mom, but it is there, and strong. When we first moved here, he wouldn't talk to her on the phone. I would say, "Collin, talk to grandma, she misses you" and he would screw up his face and say, "tell her to come visit me then!" And he just wouldn't talk to her. He is finally getting over that, and talking to her. He is so excited that she is coming to see him and tells me all the time what he is going to say to her when he sees her. Mainly, which rides he is going to ask her to go on with him at Sea World. LOL

Rewind now to Christmas. At Christmas time, my dad and stepmom came to visit us. The night they got here, Collin told me, "I don't like Santa, I like PAPA, but I don't like Santa"
When it came time for them to leave he wouldn't even look at them. Never said goodbye and just wouldn't even acknowledge them. After they were gone, he said," I don't like papa" in a very sad quiet voice. When I asked why not he said, "because he did leave me" *sigh*

So I'm very concerned about what is going to happen when my mom leaves. Will he be all upset again? I guess it won't be so bad because we will be going up to see them in July, but he has no concept of time, so that may not be of any consolation to him.

Let's just pray that Collin handles it all fine, and doesn't get his little heart broken.

The OC update and a thanks

First the ovarian cyst update. Since the day I wrote that I've not been in nearly as much pain. I still have pains but not like that day. Maybe it is leaking! LOL I don't know. Today my back is killing me, on the back side of my ovary so maybe it is just pressing on something else now. Who knows.
To answer my mil, yes, they have to burst to go away. Reminds me a giant pimple. I suppose they might be able to dry up on their own, but I don't think so.
~*~*~*~*~
I went to try on swimsuits last night. What a downer. The Avenue didn't have their suits yet. So I tried suits at Wally world. BAD idea. LOL So I guess I will just order a suit online and pray that it fits, if not I'll return it. They pay for shipping both ways, so what have I got to lose?
~*~*~*~*
I've been getting many compliments lately on the pictures of my kids. Thanks. I know they are adorable, but it's nice to hear it. So thanks! :-)

Happenings

I keep meaning to jot this down, but never do. Just some meaningless things.

Matthew and Dillon are going to camp this summer. They are beyond excited. Matt and I aren't sure what we'll do without them for a week! And I'm a wee bit concerned that they'll get homesick, but I figure they'll either love it or hate it. Either way it's only for a week and it won't kill them.
I am excited for them. I loved camp so much as a kid. I would still go if I could! LOL

In other news, we are working on landscaping our front yard. It seems strange to call it landscaping because we are just making a flower bed, but I guess that's what it is. It's exciting, and so far has been free. We have to go grab some soil and some rocks for Matt's river bed. He wants a rock river from the drainspout. The funny thing about that is that it never rains here. But that's ok. It will look cool anyway. For his birthday, I got him a solar windmill that lights up at night and a downspout cover thing. It is of these frogs rafting down a river, so it will go well on his river!

So fun. Well, he's doing all the work, it's fun for me to watch. Hehehe!

BIG BIG DAY

OK maybe not a huge deal, but to me it is totally icky.
Today, I am going to try on swimsuits. *gasp*
I found a good site online that sells suits at a reasonable price. The one I think I want is on clearance so nonrefundable. Well, I found an almost identical one at The Avenue. So I'm going to go and try it on and see what it really looks like. I'm praying it looks ok.
It is certainly not easy to swimsuit shop when you are a large woman. Especially when you are a large lady with small breasts!! My goodness, the swimsuit manufacturers just asssume that if you are a plus size then you have large boobs. Let me just tell you, my sister has always said I am a big pear. And it's true. I have no chest. Unless I'm nursing. Alot. Because I am getting smaller and smaller every day!
OK, enough about my bosoms!
Wish me luck. I have to do this now because the waterslide part of Sea World opens April 1 and you know I can't be the cause of the delay in us going there!!
Wish me luck!!

Ovarian cyst revisited

Back in September I had a nice large ovarian cyst. It eventually went away, and I don't really remember huge amounts of pain, although it was painful enough to send me to the ER after it wouldn't stop.
I have another one. I've known for a couple weeks now. Same familiar pain.
Today, I bent over to pick something up, and when I went to stand back up, I nearly couldn't. The sharp pain in my lower abdomen was so bad.
Since then, the pain comes and goes. It reminds me, very much, of labor. These pains that come and you can barely stand it, and then they subside and you can get on with life.
I'm sure it is getting ready to burst, and boy howdy do I wish it would just hurry up. This pain is for the birds!

We Believe update

OK, here is the info on the We Believe song. Leslie was right, just google it. So I did, and there you have it! LOL

A BUST

Yesterday was Matt's birthday. I tried all day to put up some cute birthday graphics to say happy birthday and tell him how much I love him, but Blogger kept failing me. Then he came home early and I ran out of time.
I made him a yummy dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and corn on the cob. Oh man, the corn was yummy. I've not been too impressed with produce in Texas but so far the strawberries and corn were great.
Then we had cheesecake for dessert.
He got gifts and it was all great.
For everyone except him. Poor guy is sick. Came home with a fever yesterday, and try as he may, he couldn't even fake he was having a good time. Today isn't much better for him. Poor thing.

We Believe

Someone asked me about the song on my blog.
I'm so sad to tell you that I have no idea who sings it. It is actually a song from the VBS my kids went to last year. My fil is a pastor and it was at his church. I loved the song so much so asked him to make me a copy of all the songs from VBS.
I felt really corny using a VBS song on my blog, but I absolutely love it.

Sad realization

Do you see that picture of Matthew? Look how old he is getting.
The other day I was going through some clothes. All of the boys's clothes are in one closet, and so the routine goes something like this. Look at the clothes, guess if they fit, if not move them over to the next kid in line. Of course the kids get their own new clothes but usually they just get passed down and down and down.
I came to Zachy's clothes. What?? Where do I put them? Who do I give them to? There is no one to pass on to. I think I'll be passing them to my nephew, but he is only 9 months younger than Z and may well be in the same size clothes and not need them. Waiting to hear from my sil about that.
It hit me hard then that this is it. No more warm snuggly baby stages for me. The baby phase is over. Before it was always ok to give away the clothes (although I went through a similar thing with the newborn clothes) because Zachy was still a baby. Now, he's a little boy. It breaks my heart. Not that they are all growing up, but because I never fully expected to be out of the baby years and only be 30.
I've held out hope that we may someday have another wee one, but that hope is fading. Matt doesn't want another baby. So I have to respect that. Even if it means ripping my own heart out. It's just SO HARD.
I love children so much. Growing up I always wanted 12 kids. I also wanted to be a teacher, or a "baby doctor". I would go with my dad to the hospital and he would do rounds and I would go to the nursery and say, "I want to do that someday". In reality, I just wanted to be surrounded with babies. I realize that is unrealistic and all things must end. I just don't really want them to. I figured we would keep having kids till our kids had kids for us to play with! :-)
I'm just sad. And not ready for it to end. But I guess it has to. And I know that even though the baby years are ending, I have their whole lives to look forward to, but how quickly it goes. Matthew is almost 10. At 18 he could be like his mom and dad and be married and gone. In the blink of an eye they will all be gone, and we will be left alone.
I just don't want it to end. :*(

Cutie pies

We went to Sea World for a couple hours yesterday evening. I got these pics of Matthew and Zach and thought they were so good. Too bad there is such a glare on Matthew's glasses, oh well, they're still cute!