It's not a trick

But it certainly isn't a treat, either!
I'm half way done today!! So here is a belly shot, complete with my head, for you Robin!
See, I'm easy, all you have to do is ask!!

Pumpkin pics

Collin's pumpkin is on the left and Zachy's on the right.



Dillon's pumpkin. It is so funny with a tiny face. He did it himself.



Matthew's pumpkin that he carved himself.

Something you may or may not know

I'm lonely. And it's really hitting hard lately.
With the shirt, came a dvd of pictures of Matt's grandpa's life. He passed away in June.
I cannot tell you how much I love Matt's grandparents. They are two of the most wonderful people I have ever known. I look up to them. Matt's grandma is one of the most nonjudgemental people I have ever met. And papa Joe was too. I always thought it was so funny, how the two of them were on the same wave length. I guess after 60 years together, it's a given. But she would tell me a story about someone in their neighborhood...YEARS ago...like when their kids were growing up, and grandma would say, "what was that boy's name, Joe?" and I would think to myself, 'ummm she hasn't even started a story about that boy, how in the world would he know who she is talking about??' But, ALWAYS, he would tell her the exact name of the exact boy who was in her mind, that she would go on to tell me a story about. It was amazing.
I have never known anyone who has been married as long as them, and I long to have as long and happy life with Matt as they had with each other.
Papa Joe was full of stories. And silly songs. And funny sounds he would make to make the kids laugh.
And I miss him. And I'm so sad that we weren't there to say goodbye. And to let him know just how much we love him. I was only blessed to know him for 14 years, but he had such an impact on my life.
He is so much like Matt. Not only in looks, but in manner as well. I can almost look at him and know exactly what Matt will be like in 50 years.
Sometimes, life just gets away from us, and we never tell those we love how much they mean to us...and then it's too late. And look at me, I'm sitting here, crying my eyes out, writing this in my blog, for the world to see, but not for Grandma to see. How lame am I?? She is the one who I should be telling that I love, and just how much we miss them. And yet..here I am.
Of course in all the pictures, were pictures of cousins and aunts and uncles and sister in laws and brother in laws and mother and father in laws...and on and on. They all live up there. And I miss them too. So very much.
It is lonely here. I try to tell myself all the time, that we have each other, and that is all that matters, and I know it is true. I'm just so very lonely.
Yes, we have a wonderful church family, and we talk to our families, but it isn't the same. It will never be home.
And while we are here...life is going on without us...nieces and nephews are being born who we have never seen. Two nieces and one nephew...so far. I have a feeling there will be more while we are here. And our lives go on as well...here we are having a niece and a grand daughter, and no one will know her. My mom and step dad will be here when she is born, but who knows when we will ever see anyone else.
BLAH...this entry is making me thoroughly depressed. The boys are carving pumpkins (a chore I so do not like, I just take the pictures) and having a gay time, and I sit here in tears.
Off I go, to be with the only family here. And ultimately, the only one that matters, I suppose.
Maybe one of these days, I'll get around to telling everyone I love, just how much I love them.

Turns out I'm not the only optimist

This came in the mail yesterday from my in laws. Matt can just be a pessimist by himself!

ACK!! Can someone help me??

I must be losing my brain. If you couldn't tell, I've redone stuff here a bit. I lost my flickr badge. I have been sitting at flickr looking everywhere and I cannot for the life of me find where I need to go to put it back.
Les...Vic...Gina...anyone...could you help this poor pregnant lady??? LOL

Total preggo moment

This morning, Matthew had an appointment with the nuerosurgeon.
Let me explain to you that he has a fatty tumor (lipoma) in his brain. It has been there since birth, and in his 10 years, it has not changed one bit. It causes no problems whatsoever, it just hangs out up there.
We have a very thorough pediatrician who said that while we live in Texas, he would at least like us established with a nuerosurgeon, just in case. In case of what, I don't know. But I'm not against being established with certain drs, in fact, I think it is a very good idea for us. I'm still working on getting in with a craniofacial doc, but that's a whole other issue.
When I made the appointment, they told me to bring all his old films, and that he needed a current MRI, like in the last 3 months current. Since we haven't been seen by them, the ped. has to refer him for that. So, I talked with the ped. who said to just go to the appointment, and they could then order what they wanted, because he didn't know what they would want. Can't say I blame him, MRIs are exactly a one size fits all thing.
So, the appointment was this morning, and last night I realized that it was downtown and I would need money for parking. I went to the gas station on the way, and the ATM was out of money. So I bought something and got cash back to pay for the parking.
We get there, and completely struggle to find a parking spot. The parking garage left a whole lot to be desired, but whatever.
We get to the office and they ask for his films. I explain to them what I have, and why I don't have a current film. Because this isn't causing any problems. Well, they make me sit there forever, then inform me that the doctor will not see him today because we don't have films. ARGH!! I was so upset. I was nearly in tears, and thinking to myself 'if I wasn't pregnant this wouldn't be bringing me to tears!!' I asked them just exactly how I was supposed to go about getting these tests ordered when the pediatrician didn't know what they wanted. To which they replied, 'well, he'll just have to call us' Now see, had they just seen us, for 2 seconds, let us be established, then THEY could have ordered the tests!!
So, I went through all this trouble, had to pay for parking, for NOTHING. Made me grumpy grumpy. My poor kids.
We came home, did school, and now they are all outside playing with their remote control cars. I am baking 2 loaves of zucchini bread, and have batter for 2 more in the fridge.
The pediatrician's office is not happy about any of this, and are working on seeing what needs to be done.
This appointment was made back in August, so we're looking at the end of the year or next before we go back. I suppose that's a good thing, they won't remember me and how they almost made me cry!!

Matthew's masterpiece

Matthew went to work with Matt yesterday so he could get his ID. I emailed him halfway through the day and told him to draw me a picture. I figured it could pass the time since he loves to draw. What I didn't expect was for him to draw it on the computer.
I was really impressed with this!

Just for you Gina

I readded your song. I was messing with the template, and it made me lose a ton of stuff. So, just for you I put it back.

This, that, and the other thing

I feel I need to write something, since it's been awhile, but I don't really have a well thought out post. So, how about some random thoughts??

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Zachy is so cute. I know I have talked about his enthusiasm here before. The other day, I put a hand me down shirt on him. It was from the neighbor, so he hadn't seen it before. He put it on and said, "a new shirt?? for ME??" And I said, "yeah, a new shirt just for YOU" His eyes got huge and he said, "OH MY GOSH MOMMY, THANK YOU" You would have thought I just bought him a new car or something, he was so thrilled.

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We think Zachy may have split personalities. The boy can go from being sooo sweet to being so wild and rowdy. He doesn't listen at that time. It is crazy because it is the exact opposite of his sweet loving self. I've taken to calling him SPB...split personality boy.

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The great he/she debate is still going on in our house. Matt insists that this baby is a boy. I insist it is a girl. He says given our track record it has to be a boy. I told him that he is the optimist of the family, and this is something to be sooo optimistic about, and he is being a pessimist! HARUMPH!! He will be proven wrong on November 6!!

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Matthew got his military ID today. He is so tickled with himself. He keeps showing it off to everyone who will look. He said to me, "what are you on yours?" I said, "ummm spouse, and see, you're child" he said, "no, mine says Lieutenant, what are you?" I had to laugh. I said, "no that means DADDY is a lieutenant, not you" He was bummed, he thought he was an LT!!!

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Matthew has a nuerosurgeon appointment this week. Nothing exciting. He has a fatty tumor in his brain that causes no problems, but that should be watched. So the pediatrician set us up with a nuerosurgeon here. It should be fun taking all four boys to a serious appointment. And I know they will want to order a new MRI. What a pain that will be.

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Dillon got a hamster for his birthday, and today he was holding it and it got away. It was in the couch and I thought for sure we wouldn't get him. But we did. He just hung out there all day. Silly hamster!

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Collin is working so hard on his "S" words. It is really cute to listen to him, but I am so glad he is finally getting that he talks wrong.

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He has also gotten into the lying stage. Today, he pulled the cushions off the couch, while Zachy and Dillon were with me. When I went in the living room he said, "I didn't do it...it was Zachy" I said, "um, except Zachy was with me!" If there is no one else to blame, he'll blame the dog. It's silly.

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I made a creme pie for dessert tonight. The kids just came in and said,(at the top of their lungs) "we're ready for pie!!" So I must go and get pie.

What do you all think??

Alrighty, so I know this is just too silly for people like my mom and Matt, but I took a picture of my u/s video at the "girl" part.
So the question is....is this a girl??

Why I never call maintenance

We had to turn all our gas off the other night. And now the pilot light on the water heater won't work. I called maintenance yesterday, and told them about that and a few other things, assuming it would all be the same people.
Well, water heater man came out and determined that the water heater needs to be replaced, and if we're lucky, it will be today.
So here I sit, waiting for him to come with a water heater. And it isn't the same person that comes for the other stuff, so now I have to wait for another person to show up too. Which could take up to a week.
I have things I need to do. Like go pick up Collin's glasses, and go grocery shopping. But I can't, because I'm stuck here, waiting on them.
This is why I never call. I hate waiting on them. We won't even mention that they are all creepy and I hate being here with them.

Anyway, onto better things.

Since I didn't post a picture of Zachy last time, here he is. With all his dum dums.
Matt says he sure is getting skinny! You be the judge!



And because I just couldn't resist. And yes, all you skeptics out there, I did keep the receipt!!!

There's a special boy in this house today!

Eight years ago, at this time, I was holding a wee little newborn in my arms.
He was born at 1:05 PM. A whopping 9lb 10oz. The dr called him Bruno when he came out. He was perfect.
Now, he is such a big boy. More of a young man, actually.
He has the most tender heart of any of my boys. He will save the world some day! Or maybe just the animals. But I do know he will do great things.
He is also my most literal child. It is kind of humorous, he takes everything seriously. Makes it tough to kid around with him, but maybe someday it will come in handy.
He is a perfect little man, who loves his family, and loves God even more.
I am blessed to be his mommy. How did I ever get so lucky??
Happy birthday, Pickle boy, we love you!!!

Fightin back the tears

I've been teary eyed almost constantly since yesterday.
We went to Target, and were looking around the baby stuff.
Did you know that itty bitty girls, wear itty bitty tights? And things that say, "princess" or "sweet girl" not "champ" or "baby boy"? It's like a whole different world.
I wistfully felt all the soft pink fabrics and prayed they would be mine soon. And I started my dreaming.
A daughter. For us. Forever. It still leaves me speechless. I can't think of words to describe how I feel about this. Just...surreal.
Tears come to my eyes when I think of how a little girl will fit into our family. Will she be a girlie girl? Or a tomboy? Whatever she is, she'll be perfect. And she'll fit in perfectly.
I'll have a daughter.
And some of you have asked me how Matt feels about this. He says he doesn't believe them. But to tell the truth, I don't believe him. I think he's just afraid of getting his hopes dashed.
Matt has wanted a little girl since I was pregnant with Matthew. Before, actually. She already has him wrapped around her tiny little finger, and neither of them are even aware of it. I can picture him with his little girl. She will be his princess. She will be the apple of his eye. Of course he loves his sons more than anything, but a little girl...wow. I think of it, and the tears come, instantly.
I think of them at her wedding (yes, a long ways off, but I know how fast this all goes!!) I can see the look on his face when he walks her down the aisle.
Yes. This is a very, very good thing. And I am oh so grateful that accidents happen.
Who knows, she may even complete our family. You'll never get me to commit to that though...she may need a sister!! ;-)

U/S pic

I have two entries I need to write, but I am super tired right now. Maybe later I'll get my second wind.
For now, here's my baby!! Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen???

Claiming it!!

OK, I've decided that I am going to embrace the idea of a girl! I will dream, and probably even buy something (leaving the tags on of course). And then, if we find out we are wrong, then at least I will have lived the dream of a daughter for a month! I just hope it doesn't make me too disappointed.
But honestly, I'm not like jumping up and down excited. It is so hard to wrap my head around the thought of anything but a boy. It seems so surreal.
I'll probably just get my head around it when they say, 'oh it's a boy!' Oh well, such is life I guess!

Collinism

We have been working on Collin's speech. He struggles with his "s" "z" "c" etc. sounds.
So his latest thing is this.
C~ Mommy, what kind of lemow-lade is this?

M~ It's just normal lemonade

C~ No, it's shhhhhhh-hour lemow-lade!!!!

He also really likes to come right up in my face and say, "boo" and I say, "boo to you" and he says "boo to you"
We can go on like that for a very long time! It's awfully cute.

Look at my handsome boy!!

I have been trying to get these pictures up for a week now. FINALLY, it works.
Matthew got his braces off last week.

Here he is before he got them on.




The morning he got them off



The result!




And while I was taking his picture, Dillon and Collin wanted me to take their pics. So here they are.

What I know

OK, here's what I know from the u/s.

Baby has a 3 vessel cord, and a 4 chambered heart. Baby was sitting on it's face in a ball, so we weren't able to tell if there is any clefting. Also, the pulmonary veins are way too little to be seen right now.

Brain looks good, arms and legs look good, and belly and kidneys look good. Baby weighs a whole 6 ounces!! Sooo sweet. :-)

Shockingly, they suspect this baby is a GIRL!!!! Baby was sitting on it's feet when they were looking, but they insist they saw two white lines indicating labia! I sooo badly want to believe this, but am scared to get my hopes up way too high. If anyone has early labia pics I'd LOVE to see them! I can tell you that I definitely didn't see a turtle. I may have a daughter. Wow. How will that ever sink in???

At any rate, I go back on November 6, and will most likely have monthly u/s, and later on we'll do a fetal echo.

All I know is I am head over heels in love with this little baby, and can't wait to meet her. (Can I say that????)

So exciting

Since today is a federal holiday, my hubby got to stay home with us!
We had to go get Collin's glasses fixed so decided to stop by Babies R Us on the way home.
Oh, it was so exciting!! We have scoped out the big ticket items we will be needing. I think we are pretty certain on what we are getting, it's just a matter of when we'll be getting it.
It kind of stinks that Christmas falls right in the middle of this pregnancy. We really can't wait till after Christmas to start buying, because we need to space it out a little bit more, but with all the gifts we have to buy as well, it could get pretty tight. I told Matt today that an August baby has it's benefits!
Anyway..tomorrow is the big day! Let's all pray for good news, shall we??

New email address?

So, I've been thinking, my email address...mom2fourboys, isn't going to work so well in a few months.
So what do you all think it will be?
mom2fiveboys or mom2fourboysand1girl???
OK, it isn't like I'll actually use those, but what is your guess?? We find out on Tuesday if this little one cooperates!

YIPPEE!!!

If you'll recall, I called the cardiologist some time ago. He never called me back. I called him a couple times after that, with no return call. It has been 4 months since he ordered the monitor on Zachy.
He finally called me on Monday, and honestly, I don't think he had even looked at the report, because once he hunted it down and called me back later in the day, he said, 'it's a bit concerning, his heart rate goes down in the 40s while he's asleep, so I think we should see him in December'.
Anyway, this disturbed us quite a bit. There were abnormalities on the report and he never called. Would he have called if I hadn't? Who knows.
At any rate, I called the pediatrician and told him what was going on. He said it was absurd of the card. not to call us when there was a heart rate that low. So we asked to be referred to a civilian card. Not that we think the outcome would be different or anything, we just like docs who COMMUNICATE.
We weren't sure it would be approved, and the ped. even seemed to think we would have a hard time with it. But, Praise the Lord, it was APPROVED!!! YIPPEE!!
I so long to be back with a civilian card. who pays attention to his patients! YAY!! Zachy goes in on November 21. I'll keep you all posted!

Per Robin's request

This is what you get when you start a pregnancy already the size of a house. A nice big belly at 16 weeks. Picture was taken by Dillon because Matt things belly shot are ridiculous. What does he know anyway??

Happy Four Months to Me!!

I am 16 weeks today. Hooray! Four months down!
I passed my 3 hour glucose test, so that is great news!
Baby has been moving around like crazy since Sunday. I don't know what happened on Sunday, but since then he has been a wiggle worm. It is so nice.

Induction

Finally, I am able to get pictures up from this weekend. If you missed them, there are pictures from the heartwalk down a few entries.
Saturday night we had induction for Pathfinders and Adventurers.
Matthew is a Pathfinder this year, and he looks so grown up in his uniform. I can't believe I am old enough to have a Pathfinder!! Dillon and Collin are Adventurers and were looking mighty cute in their uniforms as well.
Anyway, just some pictures from the night. I am too lazy to put them in order. Sorry.

Dillon and his friends waiting to get started. The other boy is Cameron, and Dillon has informed us that he is his best friend. They met during VBS this summer, so I guess they just hit it off.



Dillon holding his candle. I don't quite know what they were doing with the candles because I was in the mother's room with Zachy. But they had candles then blew them out.



Collin and his candle.



Afterwards they had food for everyone. This is my silly Cameedle!!



Matthew and Leanne waiting to start things.



All the Pathfinders. I think this may have been during the run through, I don't quite remember.



Pathfinders with their candles. Again, I don't know what they were doing with them. I'm thinking they said a pledge and then blew them out.



Each Pathfinder had to go salute the leader and say a part of the law. Something got screwed up and Matthew had to say 3 different things. Later, a dad said to me, "oh your son is the one with good diction, it was so nice to hear him speak" That was nice to hear!



After the ceremony. Matthew was mighty proud!



That night the clubs had a big sleepover. Here are the boys!

Silly Zach

OK, we had Pathfinder and Adventurer inductions on Saturday night. I have pictures, but flickr is being wierd right now. So I will put those up later today, but for now, I have to tell you how silly Zachy is.
Friday, I had to finally break down and buy some maternity shorts. As I was paying, I was given a gift bag from Motherhood. The clerk was all excited proclaiming, 'ooooh there is something big in this one" I have to admit, I was a bit excited too!
Once in the van I openend the bag to find a bottle, pacifier, and come shea butter cream. HOW DISAPPOINTING!! We don't use bottles or pacifiers, but it was my first new baby stuff, so still exciting!
Yesterday, I was cleaning up and opened up the bottle and pacifier to put aside, you know, just in case (HAHAHAHA). Zachy snatched them up. He has no idea how to even put the pacifier in his mouth, and asks me everytime, "this way mommy?" And then he doesn't know what to do with it, except giggle and say, "I'm baby!" It is hilarious to see him hold the bottle in one side of his mouth and the pacifier in the other. I'll have to take a picture when my camera battery charges up.
Yesterday, we went to Sea World. Matt and Matthew were on a big roller coaster and the other kids and I were waiting for them. As they came around, we were all looking up and waving, when Collin hollered, "Zachy is PEEING" Zachy had pulled down his pants right there and was peeing!! I could NOT believe it. I mean, what do you do in that situation? He certainly wasn't going to stop! At least he was turned away and peeing into the plants! It was crazy.
I tell you, these kids, they never cease to surprise me!